The Reason Why We Shouldn't Get Married

6

Because of that, Diana was forced to move first thing in the morning.

"Hah." She sighed.

Before, Iandrus never visited her first. This was something she clearly remembered. There was always intent behind Iandrus' every action. He wouldn't drop by just to see her, considering he was someone who viewed Diana with deep aversion.

But after she returned, Iandrus was once again surprising her with an unexpected behavior.

"What the heck is he doing here so early? I'm tired," Diana muttered with sleepiness in her voice.

"Ah, my lady! You can't say that just because he's your fiancé! I thought you would like it. Are you confused because you're getting married so soon, my lady?"

Jesse sounded very cheery.

Diana looked at her reflection in the mirror. Seeing Jesse's happy face, she smiled bitterly. Iandrus wasn't the only thing confusing her mind right now.

She just felt complicated every time she took a bath and she was forced to confront the wound on her bare chest that was normally covered by her clothes.

The wound that bound Diana as a constant reminder.

'You cannot forget your future, Diana.'

Sometimes it felt like the wound was some kind of stigma left on Diana by Scintilla.

'Mother....run....'

Like that.
The sound of Scintilla's cries still rang out in her ears. The moment she turned her back on her, knowing she would lose her life against the might of the guillotine, was still stuck in her head.
But Diana had no choice.
The reason why she couldn't run back to Scintilla, shielding her from such a feared death, even though she knew for certain she was going to be killed!
Diana held her belly tightly, her eyes entirely empty. Her stomach was completely flat now, not a single trace of life left to be felt.
Truthfully, Diana was pregnant at the time. It was something no one knew about because they were still so small. Barely a round dot inside of her.
They were an unexpected child.
Iandrus must have been drunk at the time and Diana was exhausted by everything. She was so overwhelmed by the situation that she just wanted to give up, so when Iandrus came to her, she quietly accepted him. As soon as the next morning came, he looked as though he were ashamed and left the bedroom without turning back.
Was it some kind of twisted joke of fate? Or was it God's whip trying to awaken Diana, who only wanted to give up?
Diana's second child. A child that died in her womb without ever having the chance to see the light of the world. Diana couldn't keep Scintilla safe nor the child she was unable to name.
"Does your stomach hurt, my lady?"
"Ah....." Diana answered aimlessly. Everything hurt.
Jesse asked her again with a worried expression. "Should I call the doctor? Or perhaps a hot water bag would help?"
"Oh no....It's not like that." Diana shook her head. She wouldn't get any better like this. This was a loss that Diana needed to carry with her for the rest of her life.
Diana's lips tensed.
"Let's hurry and get me ready. As you said, I cannot keep the Prince waiting."
"Oh, yes of course, my lady."
By the time Jesse finished preparing Diana, she was able to calm her mind just a little bit.
The Grand Duchess led the Prince to the small parlor room. It was different from the general drawing room used by the family when guests came, but one instead kept for Diana's private use.
That's what my mother is trying to say.
Seeing as how her mother opened up this private space so easily to another without a single word, it was a clear warning that no matter how much Diana struggled, she could not fight back against the will of her family. Not that she expected this to be easy in the first place.
But still, seeing her mother's determination made her heart hurt.
"Diana."
"Your Highness."
Diana gave her quick respects. Though it was a private space, Jesse and the other maids were still present. She couldn't call out Iandrus' name as easily as before. Taking a seat, Diana sat just across from Iandrus.

She glanced up at the Prince with a drearier expression than before.
"What brings you all the way here?" Diana asked bluntly.
Iandrus' timing was always terrible. It was like that before and it was like that now. Why did it have to be today of all days? Right when Diana was thinking of going to the church to pray for the children she could not protect.
For the poor children this bastard in front of her couldn't even remember.
"......Diana." Iandrus spoke in a low voice that didn't sound as boyish as it should have. "I've been thinking about it after talking to you the other day. About that black dress you're wearing."
Diana held her hands together, a cold sweat forming on her palms. Her heart was fluttering trying to guess what Iandrus was going to say, but her mind was still calmer than it was a few days ago.
Whether Iandrus withered away or came to his senses before the fall, it made no difference to Diana. When she came face to face with him, all she wanted to do was end everything cleanly.
".......Do you have any plans today?" Iandrus asked as he looked up at Diana, but she didn't answer. "If you have the time, would you go to the church with me?"
Diana's eyes trembled.
There could be many reasons why he would want to go to the church. Maybe Iandrus wanted to take her to get her sanity checked. Looking back on everything, he would've concluded that Diana was definitely crazy. Considering his personality, that could certainly be it.
Yeah. That was it.
"I believe what you told me is true. So I want to go pray, Diana."
"What.....?"
Diana's voice came out quiet and subdued-not at all like her usual self.
"I have people I need to pray for."
Thud-
It was the sound of Diana's heart sinking.