from the start | ran takahashi

Chapter 7

The words struck me. It felt like my whole world lit up all of a sudden and went crazy. I felt so overwhelmed. I didn't know whether I should scream and squeal from joy or just break down crying.

He turned back towards the road and continued driving as I sat there in silence.

After a moment, he probably noticed the silence and checked on me.

"Hey.. you okay??" He asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Yeah.. just.. hearing you say that meant a lot to me for some reason.. I don't know.." I laughed, feeling a bit embarrassed that I said that.

I regretted it after seeing his eyes widen.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.." I apologized, slumping into my seat.

"No! No, you didn't.." He disagreed.

Still feeling embarrassed, I didn't say anything and just looked at window. Even though I was staring outside, my mind was focused on the person behind me. 

"I was just surprised that you'd say that.. not that it's bad or anything... I genuinely feel really proud to know you.." He said, still focusing on the road.

I shifted in my seat and faced the front instead of the window.

"I'm glad to know you too, Ran. I mean, come on.. Look at you now!" I said, fidgeting with my hands.

"You're part of the national team, playing for a club in Italy, and a lot of people's inspirations! We're so proud of you.. Ryouta and I.." I stated and mumbled the last part but hoping that he had heard it.

He mumbled his gratitude, as the topic was a bit sensitive.

I felt the atmosphere turn into an awkward tension. The radio still blasting through the speakers as we both sat in silence.

After a while, he broke the silence with an alarming question.

"So.." He started.

I looked at him and urged him to continue.

"Any relationships?" He asked, dropping the bomb.

I sat still, not even breathing.

"Oya oya! You're in one?" He asked teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rather than feeling proud that I'm in a relationship, I just felt upset about it. Of course, I didn't show that to him.

In the end, I forced a smile.

"Yep!" I beamed forcefully.

He nodded his head, his face showed amusement. A smile was plastered on his face, though for a split second, I noticed his hand gripped tighter on the steering wheel. As if he was about to break it.

'I must be imagining things..'

"So.. who's the lucky man?" He teased.

As a theater kid, body language and listening to the tone of the voice was easy for me to identify, so the bitterness in his voice was very much present. Almost like he didn't even want to know who the person was.

Curious, I wanted to press buttons.

'For research purposes..'

"He's a guy I met in Kyoto and-" As I start explaining, he immediately cut me midway.

"Oh! So he's from Kyoto! Do I know him?" He asked and now a form of sarcasm started to show.

I looked at him weirdly.

"Uhh I'm not sure.." I shrugged.

I didn't really want to mention his name just in case he did know him.

He hummed and let me continue.

"So, yeah.. I met him at a party. You know, the one that they hold every year for graduating senior students? The one when you and Ryouta got so drunk and got scolded at-" I explained before getting cut off.

Again.

"Yeah yeah.. that one. So you guys met there? What happened?" He asked, acting like a child.

"If you didn't cut me off multiple times, I would have told you by now." I glared at him.

He finally kept quiet and let me finish the story.

As I explained to him that we met at the party but officially dated after seeing him one year later when we were both, technically, working. All he did was nod his head and occasionally hummed as responses.

I look at him in the corner of my eye to see what his reaction was, but we suddenly came to a stop.

"Anyways, we're here!" He beamed all of a sudden, getting out of the car.

'What?'

I looked outside and noticed we were already at the arena. The tension rose higher, making it really difficult to grasp what was happening.

'Did he just..What?'

As I sat there, bewildered, he opened the door of the backseat to grab his gym bag and looked at me from his position.

"Uhh.. Do you want to stay here?" He asked sarcastically, leaning his right hand on top of my head rest.

I felt my gut twisting. My heart clenched lightly. It was painful.

'That was really.. disappointing.'

"Ha ha ha.. very funny.." I forced a laugh.

He chuckled and closed the door, waiting for me to get out.

I took a deep breath.

'What did I expect..?'

I finally went out and forced another smile.

"Let's go." He nodded his head towards the arena as I followed him.

My body moved on its own, following wherever he went and smiled occasionally to him whenever he explained something. But the information wasn't even going inside my head and all I could think of was;

'Was this REALLY a good idea?'