in the middle of the chaos | jean kirstein x fem!reader

14 | in the middle of the reappearance of the colossal titan

Y/n nodded. ''Right. Fuck.''

Bells sounded across the whole city as evacuation commenced. Y/n and Jean had made it back to HQ, running around with the rest of the 104th.

''You recruits are fine soldiers who've managed to graduate! We anticipate your contribution to this operation!''

Y/n kneeled next to Jean as the two of them rushed to fill up their gas tanks. Her hands shook as she tried to plug the two tanks together, her eyes still wide. Where are Mom and Leo and Stella? What about Mrs. Kirstein? Did they make it to the inner wall? Y/n took a deep breath. She couldn't think about them now — she had to assume they were safe. She looked at her hands, urging them to still. How had Jean been so level-headed earlier?

Holy fucking shit, the Colossal Titan attacked my hometown.

She couldn't be scared now, could she? She didn't have the luxury of that. She'd given that up the moment she'd signed up for the military, three years ago. Now, she had to make sure her and Jean's families would make it to see another day, and also not loose their daughter and son in the meantime.

''Are you ready?'' Jean asked as he stood up, strapping the bottles to his ODM gear.

Y/n unplugged the full gas bottle, sliding it into place. ''Yeah. Mostly.'' She strapped the bottles tightly before she looked at Jean. ''Thank you . . . for earlier. I don't—''

''Don't even,'' Jean cut her off. ''That was fucking terrifying. Don't apologize for freezing.''

Y/n's eyes widened, but she nodded. ''Right. It won't happen again.''

''We stick together, alright? We're in the same squad.'' Jean put a hand on her shoulder. ''Don't go anywhere alone, I won't either. We survive this and go to the interior tomorrow, alright?''

She couldn't bring herself to smile, but she nodded again. ''Right. We'll . . . we'll be fine.''

Y/n could see his adam's apple bob. ''Right.''

———

''Now then, split up into your respective squads as you did in training! Under the command of the Garrison, you'll carry out supply support, intelligence communication, titan clean-up, and so forth! The Garrison's interception squad will take the vanguard section! The Training Corps under our command will take the middle guard section! The Garrison's elite squad will take the rear guard's section! Note that, according to reports, the vanguard squad has already been wiped out!''

Y/n's eyes widened. A lump formed in her throat. Murmurs rose from the crowd.

''The outer gate has been breached and the titans have invaded! Put simply, we're in a situation where the Armored Titan could appear at any moment and break the inner gate!''

Y/n looked down. She'd thought about it, of course, it was the obvious follow-up. Still, it was weird it's been so long already and there was still no sight of him. Not that I'm complaining.

''Silence! This defense operation consists of a single objective: to defend Wall Rose to the last until the evacuation of the residents is complete! Finally, though I'm sure you're all aware, fleeing before the enemy is a capital crime! Steel your will and offer your lives! Dismissed!''

''Sir!''

People started running off to their respective posts. Y/n was about to follow, but upon noticing her squad wasn't moving, she stayed behind, watching as Jean hunched over, holding his head. ''Why today? One more day, and I would've been within the inner walls . . .'' Bertoldt hovered over Jean, though he didn't do anything. Y/n reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, though Jean didn't flinch.

Daz threw up next to them as Christa rubbed his back. Y/n felt like throwing up now, too — though that was more due to the sight of Daz's throw up rather than nerves. Or maybe it was because of both. She wasn't sure.

Jean scoffed and walked ahead, letting Y/n's hand fall off his shoulder. She wanted to follow him, to try and comfort him like he'd done with her, but before she could, Jean bumped into Eren, and she knew not to interfere into that.

''Out of my way!'' Jean pushed past him.

''Hey, Jean!'' Eren grabbed his arm. ''What's wrong?''

'''What's wrong?' Don't give me your reckless bullshit, you damn lunatic! You want to enlist in the Survey Corps, so you're prepared to become titan food whenever!'' Jean had grabbed Eren's collar by now. ''But I was going to be within the inner walls by tomorrow, you know!''

''Calm down!''

''Are you telling me to calm down and go get killed?!''

''No!'' Eren yelled back. ''Think back! About the three years we put our blood, sweat and tears into! During those years, we've had countless brushes with death. There are even some who've actually died. Those who ran and those who were driven out, too. But we made it through alive. Didn't we?! We're sure to make it through this time, as well. You're gonna survive today, and you and Y/n will be within the inner walls by tomorrow, right?''

Never in her life did Y/n think Eren would be giving Jean a motivational speech. Then again, never in her life did she think she'd see the Colossal Titan in real life, yet here she was. Life worked in wonderful — not — ways.

''Damn!'' Jean started walking away, not acknowledging Eren. ''Let's go, Daz! Quit crying already!''

''Okay . . .''