It was all a lie.
It's difficult to put into words just how much it hurt when I discovered that everything was a lie. The lie was so convincing, and it was devastating when the truth finally came to light. However, I know that there must have been some truth to it, even if it's hard to figure out.
Looking back on it, I regret holding onto the lie for so long. I should have let it burn in the flames, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Like a wimp. I wanted it to be true so badly that I ignored the signs that something wasn't right. So I kept it. It was a bad choice. A wrong one.
Xavier, did you ever reveal the truth?
I used to wish you had loved me back, but now I realize that I deserve someone who values me and treats me with the respect and care that I deserve. The thought of you loving me was so beautiful and heartwarming, but now it just seems painful and even disgusting. I don't want to waste my time on someone who doesn't feel the same way about me. I used to wish that I got everything I wanted. However, Zela did. Not me. She got everything I wanted. Not what I want. Big differences like this can be very simple. Just pay attention.
Use your ears, not your mouth. Speaking too much can get you in trouble. But staying quiet can break you.
People can change, yes. It has been proven before. Multiple times. People can change. They have possibilities. People can also stay the same.
The world says it's okay to be different. That everyone is unique in their own way and shouldn't be shamed for it. That it would be boring if everyone acted the exact same; like a mirror. But it's different if you've done bad things or if you don't like what you were born as or if you even love someone that you're not supposed to. That's when you need to follow along with everybody else and act normal. Like everybody else.
I shouldn't have fell in love with Xavier. I should've stayed normal like everybody else, right? It was a mistake. I'm a guy, I'm supposed to like women and their charms. Not my own kind, which are men. I can't like my own kind. That's wrong. The only person I can love from my own sex is myself. I can't love anybody else. That's wrong. I can only love woman. It's not that I hate women, no. I absolutely adore them. Romantically or sexually? I don't know. I can't imagine being in a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman. I can do that with a man though. But, then again. That's wrong. The rules to this world are very simple but very complex if you overthink it. Don't think twice.
Don't think twice as that can make you overthink. Think twice so you can make the right decisions. Don't ever trust your first thought, as that can get you in bad trouble. That's wrong. It's not that you should listen to me though. I'm just a random person in the world. It's as simple as that. Nobody knows if I'm even telling the truth right now. Like, I could be lying right now. But it's not like you can do anything about it, right? Wrong. The worlds rules are not set like the rules in a 8 year olds treehouse. The worlds rules can go against each other, which is why people are different. The rules can go against each other. That's why people are different. They can think and like other things. Just don't step out from the zone called 'normal'. That's wrong.
I could lie to everybody in this story and I can make everything up and make it that everything circles back to the same thing. Everybody in this little story is fake. None of the things here ever happened. And I'm sure all of the books you've read didn't happen in real life or at all. The reason?
It was all a lie.
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GUYS I DINT KNOW HOW TO WRITE SO LIKW IM SCARWD TK SEND THIS OUTT 😭😭 THIS IS LITERALLY SOMETHING I WRITE WHEN I GET BORED AND LOKEE IDK WHAT TO DO W THIS THIS IS LITERALLY MY FIRST TIME AND I DKNT PROOFREAD OR WTV ITS CALLED LMAOAOOAOA
