so , i just want to write something in advance...first of all this should NOT AT ALL be seen as offensive against religion ,i am Christian myself and this is only for entertainment and shouldn't be taken seriously,i hope i don't disrespect anyone and if I actually do,please inform me ,thank you🤗
Second of all : English isn't my first language and it is quite possible that there are a lot of mistakes,even some that i made on purpose because it sounded funnier in my head🫣
Thank you all for reading ,a lot of love guys❤️
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
*Douglas Adams*
yoo it was a really shitty and fucking boring day in God's life ...yess you heard rightttt god herself (she's cool ik)
Her angels did literally nothing (except Lucifer and some others but they were not in heaven anymore so she didn't care ),even tho "nothing" wasn't even created yet (like whatdafuq)
So she had a brilliant (*cough*cough *dies in sarcasm) idea and was like: yess motherfuckasss , NOW imma create "THE UNIVERSE"
oh myself i am so schmart ....(no i am sorry to say that but that move was worse than me in sports...)
At first she was like:Uhhhh imma create something called depression to mess with my creationsss ....
(ok yeah no she created depression in 23BC bc she was already pissed at the creation she will later call*humans* (or by her angels :* her worst creation that will have and has ever existed*)
On day numero uno she created
DAY AND NIGHT
so that her creations can see and live when it's day
and that they can stub their toes on random objects in their room at night ....
On day Nummer 2 she created
WATER AND LAND
So that her creations will never be thirsty
and that they can destroy the land she built bc they are dumb
On day number 3 she created
PLANTS AND GROUND
so that her creations will always have to eat
and die of plants that are poisonus
On day 4 she created
PLANETS AND STARS
so her creation will have to look at something at night
and so that they are afraid that there are aliens up there that will come for them , eat there brains and force them to be their slaves
On day 5 she created
SEA-AND LANDCREATURES
so that her creations will never be lonely
and that they can open a KFC or a Mc Donalds
On day 6 she created
HUMANS
so that somebody will look at her work and enjoy it
and that she can use them as her personal stress toy ,so she can punish them if she feels like it...
On day numéro 7 she didn't create anything
TIRED GOD
she was tired and had to rest
meanwhile satan,angel of the bottomless pit , king of darkness created the french language
French .... a tool of the fallen angel Lucifer (no not the handsome Tom Ellis Lucifer and not the one from Supernatural,NO the one from Good Omens ...yes the one that was played by Benedict Cumberbatch)
*i'm done with my life lol
