NDA

Three

I sobbed as I cleaned the shelves in my van and tried to keep my eyes dry long enough to write lyrics. I sat on my bed in the van with my notebook. I began to scribble.

'You knew the rumours about me weren't true
But that's what you get for trusting Q' was one line I wrote. This one I wasn't going to be stupid enough to post. I kept writing and writing until I had three pages covered in chicken scratches.

"Flair?"

"Yea."

"Just checking in, it's late." Dylan said entering the van. "Oh." She looked at my ink stained hand and the notes in front of me.

"Sorry I got side tracked."

"You should get some sleep."

"I know... what time is it?"

"Almost midnight."

"Oh shit..."

"Are you coming inside?"

"Yeah my bed sheets are in the wash." I yawned. "I'll get this put away and I'll be in."

"Ok, I have some tea made for you in the spare room."

"Thanks Dyl." She went back inside and I sighed falling back on my bed. I grabbed my phone and opened TikTok to see the damage... holy fuck. So many people have asked for the full song, others say I'm queer baiting, I'm trash, I'm the next Billie Eilish, oh my god is she talking about Billie?' I scrolled though comments. I went to instagram and searched for my blocked people, I found Billie. I opened her page and instantly clicked a group photo that I realized was a magazine cover... Billie in glasses. Swiped though the photos and exited the app. After I thought for a second I decided to open the app and reblock her. Her page loaded but this time there was a new photo, I couldn't resist the urge to see who was with Billie so I clicked it. I knew her face but I couldn't remember her name, I swiped over one and saw a picture of her I could handle, a faceless photo of her just walking. I contemplated exiting the app then, but there were more photos. I did see any past the third as the video started to play. I threw my phone across my van and threw my face into a pillow. I got up grabbing my phone and texting Billie. 'Billie' was all I said.

"Hello." She piped up on screen with a smile.

"Delete that post now."

"What the fuck?" She laughed. "Bitch who do you think you are?"

"I can't release my song but you can tongue someone?"

"Stop being so jealous." She rolled her eyes.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You!" She said loudly. "You make me fucking crazy Hail. You always give me such fucking false hope."

"False hope for what?" I asked.

"Your a queer artist. That's what you are. I was a straight hella straight kid who was scared and now that's who I gotta be. And every fucking time I'm around you-" as she spoke she typed on her phone. "You make me feel like I can live in a fucking world where I'm me."

"Who the fuck says you can't?" I asked.

"Everyone! What if I changed my mind."

"That's not how being gay works. We both know that you aren't going to stop liking pus-"

"It's deleted." She said just above a whisper. "If my legal team think that song goes against the NDA they might sue you and I can't stop them."

"I don't say you name. And no one has ever seen us together."

"Go watched some TikTok's your tagged in and tell me this is will be ok." She ended the FaceTime and I shook my head. I was giving up for the night, I couldn't take anymore.

I woke with a blanket on me, I wrapped it around myself as I made my way inside Dylan's place. "Good morning." She said from the floor of the living room where she had boxes.

"Good I'm leaving just in time." I smiled.

"Ok Scrooge." She laughed. "It's already the middle of November I'm behind.

"I'm going to get my Landry make up my van the. Shower ok?"

"We're going grocery shopping before you leave!" She said getting up and following me to the closet in the hall with the washer and dryer. "You have no groceries and I don't trust you to buy anything but mr.noodles so when we drop your van off at the garage that's what we'll do ok?"

"Ok." I nodded. "But I'm tired can we put a cap on a word limits right now between breathes." I said.

"Im just going to miss you." She pouted. I rolled my eyes and hugged her, she hugged back accepting the affection I never give.

"I'll miss you too but I just need snow. I might even be back for new years." I probably won't even see it... The ideas in my head began to whirl with dark thoughts.