REGRET🏎️[2]

1:00

LANDO

"no."she states.

Her hair down,exposing those maroon eyes of hers.Her posture straight as she sits there with that face of hers,the face she makes when she doesn't want to be somewhere.
She doesn't want to be here.

I can't believe it.the 2024 season is about to start and we haven't even said one word between another?

she's sat there nodding and smiling for hours on end,whenever someone speaks to her.
Her best friend sat opposite her as they glance between each other signalling god knows what.

Her hair is perfect,the right shade between blonde and brown,laying there so effortlessly as her eyes draw everyone's attention,those glowing eyes.

that smile she holds when she speaks with Victoria,that's smile that hasn't reached me.
the smile I have missed for the past months.
the smile I have been waiting to see.
the smile that will never be for me,because we are no longer "friends".

Yes she is my teammate.
one of the few girls to ever race in formula one and I have the pleasure to be along side her.
even if she doesn't like me.
even if she thinks I don't like her...

the meeting feels as if it's going on forever,like there's no end coming.Even as I get to admire her features,ignoring all being said to me or the team.I can't help but think how this year will go.As I can't imagine the year before me all I can see is her.

the way she talks as everything's okay,as if nothing happened yesterday.

the circles under eyes only appearing under a certain light.the spark in her eyes still there but a way less amount than the months I had spent with her.
the way her best-friend doesn't even know the pain Amelia endured yesterday.

no one knows but me.

how can she sit there and still be so accounted for everything around her.how can she sit there with a smile on her face when yesterday she was screaming,crying in my arms.

when I found her there,in the empty house.all furniture removed,nothing but the echoes of her pain surrounding the empty house.

I practically ran towards her when I saw her there. All alone,kneeling on the floor,not able to make eye contact with me as she hurries herself into my chest.
the raw screams replaying in my head as I watch her sat there in the meeting discussing all the new things with the car.
the way she fell asleep along side me yesterday replays in my head as she takes in all that criticism from Zak about her sim performance.

How?

how can she sit there and pretend to be okay when yesterday she found out her mother was no longer with her..

that her mum had died due to cancer three months ago and she had no idea.

That no one had even attempted to contact her about the death and that she didn't get too see her mum one last time.

how does one human deal with the pain?
how can she sit there and pretend to be okay?

"lando"my head turns to face Zak who is stood in front of all of us.
everyone looking at me,amelia looking at me.
i let out a"mhm"as i scan the room around me,having absolutely no idea what's happening.

"What do you think?"zaks voice echoing in my head as if I was in an empty room with the walls spread well out.

"yes?"i say hesitating.
"No?"follows right after my first response.
"Maybe?" I say now completely confused.

"Ethan rojás" amelia says looking pissed off at me or the world,I couldn't tell.
"Who?"i say with no knowledge of who this Ethan rojás is and why we're talking about him.

"the new driver for Ferrari-"

the new driver for Ferrari?
when was there a new driver?
i though carlos would stay?

the amount of questions skipping through my mind were all over the place.

"They announced it this morning"Zak states as my facial expressions didn't help anyone out.

"oh okay,is he good?"i ask not knowing if I want to hear the answer about to come.

"raised in the sport,fast,champion of f3;skipped right up here,he's got no turning back now"Andrew tells the crowded table once again,I imagine.

"he will prove himself,there's no doubt of that"Zak adds as he skips the slide on the electrical whiteboard attached to the wall as if we were back in secondary school.

___ \ō͡≡o˞̶ ____ \ō͡≡o˞ ̶ ...

a hand grabs me as i attempt to leave the meeting that I honestly thought would never end.

a soft,warm,delicate hand.
a hand I have held before.

Amelia's hand.

"Don't get too excited Wolff."I turn around connecting my eyes with hers.
"wasn't planning on it Norris"she says letting go of my hand.

her warm touch lingering there,teasing me.
"You haven't told anyone about-"she begins to say her guard lowered as her eyes change into a worried look.

she really thinks I would do that to her?

my eyes soften as she stands there staring at me with those eyes,those brown eyes which I can get lost in.
the eyes of a person who wants her mum back.

"now you don't really think that low of me, do you Amelia?"my voice soft,making sure she knows I'm there, no matter how much she hates me.
no matter the horrible things I did too her.
I know I don't deserve her but really?

Im not a Monster..