Death is an extraordinary event. Everything that roots from death are not normal as though people don't want to show it that way.
The continuous tears... new wrinkles... heavy sighs, and... prevented emotions. Without the signs and tarps hanging in front, I might think of it as a club house—less the dancing women and colorful lights. Every detail is as fresh as wound that is so hard to forget.
And when I say hard...
It's extremely hard.
"I miss you..."
Her name engraved on this piece of solid tile never left my torn mind. It has been forty days since she left this world and I still feel neglected and unloved.
She still gives me that feeling... that exact moment.
Every time I close my eyes, I see nothing but our memories together. The first time we held our hands, the first time my lips touched hers and... every bits of our last, of course. I never stopped wanting for more.
I need more. I want more. She's all I want in this world.
Death...
Fair and distant.
But it's always felt.
The wind blew in different directions. It is so cold that it reached my soul. Ang kaninang maaraw na langit, maulap na ngayon.
"You must be very lonely up there, Kariza..."
I licked my lips.
"Or... Mea." She wants me to call her that way. The reason is still unknown to me ngunit hindi ko iyon nagawa kahit sa mga huling sandali niya.
For some reason, I feel like... I am still stuck on that day. It's the very first time where I finally felt how bad it is that you are being stared at because of the white flowers in front of your house. It feels awful. They didn't even know her, yet, they are with sympathy.
"A god damn car accident..." Sarkastiko akong natawa. "There's nothing to avenge for."
Humiga ako sa tabi ng kaniyang lapida at tumingala sa langit. I ignored the falling leaves and the harsh air. Gusto ko lang maramdaman na... katabi ko pa rin siya. That I can still rely to the idea that... she never leaves this place—or this position. She's always here. Hindi man siya humihinga, she's still here. She's still Kariza—and this will never make her identity lose.
Death...
It's supposed to be fair, right? Because this is the only similarity we have.
Why does it feel so bad, then?
Mahirap kalaban ang kamatayan. Mahirap tapatan ang hangganan ng buhay. You can form thousands of regrets in your head pero... walang magagawa iyon. Walang mangyayari. Unlike when you chose to leave a person wherein you can still fix anything—dito... wala.
Because when someone dies, they just leave everything else to you.
"I'll be back tomorrow..." The rain's starting to drop. "We will do this everyday, Kariza. Hinding-hindi ako magsasawa."
Umuwi na ako sa unit ko bago pa bumuhos ang malakas na ulan. Ako lang ang mag-isa rito. Gustuhin ko mang umuwi, hindi ko pa talaga kaya. Masiyadong mabilis ang lahat.
"She's crying..." Ngumiti ako nang mapait. "I can't even make her stop."
She's still alive to me. What she feels resembles the sky, her touches... I can feel it through the breeze and...
Her voice... it's still caged in my heart.
"Are you on the line, Mister... Altarieno?"
ВИ ЧИТАЄТЕ
The Touch of Eternal Sorrow (Altarieno Series #3)
Романтика[COMPLETED] Getting over the fact that Meara Kariza Connors is gone has never been too easy for her boyfriend, Haryhson Tomas Altarieno. She was the best future he could ever have. The most valuable person he could ever hold. But then, things starte...
