Athlete B

05. Our Chapter Is Over

I find a hair brush, as I contemplate more of my options, but I only end up with one when I end up tying my messy, dirty blonde hair into a bun, before I'm walking out. I don't give the mirror a second glance, afraid of the fake person that would be staring right back at me. The same person that I wish everybody else could see besides me. 

Almost running, I moved my body as fast as my brain was thinking, and dug through all the stupid, ugly clothes that my mother had bought me. Not being rude or anything, some of them I love, but some of them, I just wish they went to someone else that wasn't me. They aren't for me, and I know my mother is trying, but at the same time, she isn't. She doesn't know me. 

She doesn't know me at all. Reaching into the back of my closet, I find what I need. Grasping it in my cold hands, I sigh in relief, knowing that no one had found it. Pressing on the 'on/off' button, I realize that it's out of charge. It's been so long that I haven't needed it. Needed them. 

Moving out of the closet, I go to my charger and charge up. While this happens, I go back into the closet and slip my uniform over my head, not even bothering to check the planner I hung in here so that I would know what sports I had on which days. I was so tired and drained that I didn't care. The only thing that I cared about was getting out of here for a few days, at least. 

Grabbing my school bag, I emptied some of the things I knew I wouldn't need for the week, before stuffing the clothes I had brought out of the closet with me, stuffing it in the bag. I grabbed the essentials out of my bathroom, before I was slipping my shoes and socks on, and walking back to the charging phone. 

It was cracked and damaged, from the last time that Sebastian had found out that I still had contact with them. He had thrown it around the driveway, while I had stood there, tears streaming down my face, and no one to run to. He had almost destroyed my lifeline, but he never knew that I had gotten it fixed, only for it to still be on its last life. 

When the screen lit up, I quickly put in the 6-digit passcode before I swiped to his contact, sending a quick message. I sat down on my desk chair, with my bag still slung on one arm, the other reaching aimlessly around the back of my chair for my winter coat. For once, I had been smart enough to bring everything up here, instead of leaving it at the front door. I had been prepared to lock myself away for months after last night. 

When a few minuets had passed, and the phone was lighting up with every notification I had missed with not being on it, I got no response. Hovering over the phone button, I hesitated. Would they want me to call them? Was this really a emergency? Were they even still living here, or had they moved further away than I had thought? Would they even want to talk to me?

It felt like my brain would never shut the hell up. The chapter between my family and his family had closed years ago, and now, here I was, hesitating whether or not I should call him, so that they could save me from this shit hole. The shit hole that had been the place I had grown up with the people that had willingly threatened me. 

Finally pressing the phone button, I searched his contact, and pressed on it. My leg shook with anticipation, as the phone continued to ring out, before going into a voicemail. I debated calling again, but hesitated again. I hated how much I believed my thoughts that told me I was annoying and needed to stop bothering people with my issues. 

My itty, bitty little issues that were nothing compared to others. Pressing his contact again, I promised myself that if he didn't pick up, I would just find another way out of here, on my own. My leg shook even more, as I waited and waited, before I knew that it was going to be the end and that he wouldn't pick up. Why would he, when I don't answer for years and basically disappear out of his life.