a dream of sweet illusion

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It had been two weeks since Melt had lost his star.

His sun, even.

Without a sun, there was no light. He could hardly tell the difference between night or day anymore. Yet another day would pass by where he stared blankly at the ticking clock, watching the hours pass by.

Ticking, ticking, ticking with no end. If it had stopped, Melt probably wouldn't even have noticed— time never seemed to move correctly after that day.

He remembered when his bed was filled with warmth.

With hugs and messy kisses followed by laughter that sounded more beautiful than any melody Melt had ever heard. Their love was anything but perfect, yet Melt couldn't be happier with it.

Did Aqua ever feel the same? Aqua, who spent all the years of his life lying until it was the only thing he had left. Aqua, who once promised to Melt that he would be honest. Aqua, who told Melt he would be with him forever, only for Melt to find a cold, dead corpse in the bathroom that morning.

Melt should have expected it.

Aqua was an actor until the very end. He played a role where he was happy, where everything was over, where he was fine—

Except Aqua was not fine. Melt was a fool for believing he ever would be.

Did Aqua even know how much he left behind? A grieving sister, a grieving mother, even a lover. Melt could list off many people who mourned over Aqua's death— despite how much Aqua insisted he wasn't meant to be loved.

Like hell he wasn't meant to be loved.

Sure, Aqua had messed up a lot in his life. Melt heard stories, even seen it with his own eyes. He knew how Aqua had hurt his friends again and again. How Aqua never really wished to hurt his friends at all. He laid next to Aqua on nights where he broke, begging his dead mother for forgiveness. Often begging Melt to find someone who wasn't a mess like him.

But Melt loved Aqua. Why would it matter if Aqua was a mess or not?

After all, Melt wasn't any better himself.

He completely ruined Sweet Today, and waited too long to reach out to Aqua. Even after he thought that Aqua was within his reach, he flew away to somewhere Melt couldn't reach.

If he was a better boyfriend, then maybe Aqua wouldn't have—

The door opened.

Kana stood there, carrying a basket of food and empty eyes. Melt hasn't gotten used to that expression yet, but he supposed he carried a similar one, seeing how Kana bit her lip in worry the second she saw Melt's face.

"I brought you some food..." Kana spoke slowly, carefully, as if she was speaking to an injured animal. Melt supposed he looked no different from one.

Melt accepted the food in his hands, wondering if he'll even find the appetite to eat it. It took him a good moment to find his voice.

"Thank you."

Kana nodded, a small smile on her face.

Then, the awkward silence began. One of the first things Melt had noticed since Aqua's passing was how silent everyone became. It was as though Aqua had taken all of their colors and voices away along with him, leaving nothing for the rest of them who lived.

How ironic, to think that once Aqua gave him everything, only to take it away from him when he left.

"Melt," Kana started the conversation, picking at her hands. A nervous habit she developed, Melt noticed. "Are you going to stay here?"

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 06, 2023 ⏰

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