Watch Me Drown

30. Flight

"I don't feel...well." Abby told her.

"I know." She sighed. "Just breathe."

"How long was I out?"

"Only a few minutes."

"Oh. I was hoping I had at least passed some time."

Maybe it was time to put my headphones in. Lucy had, and was doing something on her phone. I put mine on and started going through my voice memos.

***

(Abby's point of view)

I focused on counting. I counted down the minutes of the plane ride. The entire trip took about six hours, if I was rounding up, and I had passed out for, say, five minutes. I did all sorts of calculations with those numbers. I just had to keep my mind off of how I felt. It was an if I can't see it, it can't see me sort of thing. I don't know how long I did that before Julien tapped my shoulder. It made me jump.

"Sorry," She said. "I just wanted to make sure you were conscious."

"I'm okay." I replied. "Just...numbers."

She left me to it. Some of my coping mechanisms confused her. At least I was coping.

After a while of math, I decided to listen to music. Music always distracted me. I don't know why I didn't start with that. I put my headphones in, shuffled some playlist, closed my eyes, and let the sound of "i wanna be your girlfriend" by girl in red replace the numbers. I am gay, after all.   

The time passed. I read. I listened to music. I talked to Julien. I slept. I even ate a few times. I felt better as the flight went on.

Until I didn't.

We were landing. I started to feel dizzy and my heart rate went up. I fought it off. I would not let this happen again. I couldn't.

"Are you okay?" Julien asked me after we had landed and everyone started getting their stuff together.

"Fine." I whispered. It was all I could muster.

"Are you sure?" She said.

I nodded, and forced a small smile. It probably wasn't convincing, but I turned away before she could ask more. We all got our things and shuffled into the line of passengers. Standing was making me feel worse. The whole place was spinning, and my heart rate was through the roof. Julien was in front of me, and Lucy was behind me. I think that Phoebe was ahead of Julien. I couldn't see that far. My legs were shaking, like they were about to give out. Keep fighting, keep fighting, keep fighting. It wasn't enough.

"Julien." I gasped when my legs gave out.

She caught me, per usual. Lucy helped her stand me up, and they supported me on both sides, their arms under each of my elbows.

"Just hold on," Julien said firmly. "Fight it, Abby. You can do it. Don't let it take you."

"Stay with us." Lucy added, also very firmly.

Phoebe took my bag. Lucy and Julien talked to me the whole time, giving me something to focus on. They asked me questions.

"Um...where did Taylor Swift grow up?" Lucy said once.

"Christmas tree farm." I choked out.

"What's my middle name?" Julien asked.

I would have laughed at the randomness of that one, if I hadn't felt like complete shit.

"Rose." I answered.

"What's my middle name?" Lucy questioned.

"Elizabeth." I breathed.

"Phoebe's middle name?"

"Luc...Lucille."

No matter how hard I fought, I was fading. Luckily, we got off the plane before I lost complete control of my body. They guided me through the jetway and to a quiet section of the airport seating. My heart was beating so fast it was almost painful, the sound echoing throughout my whole body. The walls were glass, and though it wasn't an entirely new sun, Massachusetts made the sun feel different. Dimmer, or maybe colder, or maybe it was just me, on the verge of passing out.

"There she goes." I heard Julien mutter as my eyes closed.

***

When I regained consciousness, I felt someone's arms around me, holding me, my head on their chest. I heard their heartbeat, and felt them breathing and talking. I took a breath, and their scent gave me enough motivation to open my eyes. Julien.

"Welcome back." Phoebe was nearby. I couldn't find her yet.

"Hi," Julien said softly when our eyes met. "You alright, honey?"

I blinked a few times, trying to focus my eyes. Julien helped me sit up, her arms still around me. I realized that we were on the floor, me cradled in Julien's lap, her kneeling and supporting all of my body weight. Phoebe stood, blocking passerbys' view of us. Lucy wasn't there.

"I'm okay." I said quietly. "Where's...where's Lucy?"

"She's getting you something to drink." Phoebe told me.

I nodded, still not totally awake. I regretted putting makeup on. I felt sticky.

"I'm back," Lucy announced as she walked up to us, a Gatorade in hand. "And I got the goods."

She handed Julien the bottle, who opened it and handed it to me.

"Drink." Julien instructed me.

I obeyed. Once half the bottle was gone, they helped me up and we were on our way. What a long, and chaotic, day.

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Can they catch a break?! No. No they cannot.

How was Phoebe's point of view? Funny? Stupid? Interesting?