Devil's Backbone by idkxwriting (ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN)

CHAPTER 10

Elijah approached his bedroom door quietly. He knocked softly but got no response. He listened for a moment, and when he heard her sniffle he cracked the door slowly. He peaked in, and she sat on the couch, her knees to her chest.

Y/N wiped under her eyes with the sleeve of the hoodie she had borrowed from him, mascara smudging her red rimmed lids. His chest ached as he took in her appearance. She had discarded the elegant, blood spattered gown to the side and rifled through his drawers until she found something she could change into. She looked like a child in his oversized clothes, so small and broken.

"I didn't know you owned anything that wasn't a suit..." the heartache in her voice squashed any humor she attempted. "I hope you don't mind."

He moved toward her and sat on the edge of the sofa. "Y/N..."

"I don't want to die," her voice cracked.

He tensed, waiting for the inevitable next words; the ones she had been thinking since she woke. The ones that would break him.

She bit her lip for a moment, steeling her nerves. "But I can't be -"

"A monster," he finished for her.

She moved from her corner to the edge of the couch so she could see his expression. "Elijah, I'm sorry." She whispered.

He nodded, fixing his eyes on the fireplace in front of them.

"Elijah, please, look at me." Y/N placed her hand along his cheek, turning his face towards her.

He kept his eyes shut for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. In a thousand years he had mastered many things. Goodbye had never been one of them. When he finally looked at her his eyes were filled with grief and understanding.

"Say something."

"What would you have me do?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, Elijah...tell me I have a choice, that this will be fine. Tell me you don't want me to die, tell me -"

He cut her off then, pulling her into him and crashing his lips into hers. She responded immediately, getting caught up in him when he parted, both gasping for breath. "You will always have a choice."

She nodded, pressing her mouth to his into a soft kiss, memorizing the feel of his lips. When they parted Elijah placed his forehead against hers. They sat like that for a moment, and Y/N wondered if in another life they could have had this - an evening snuggled up by the fireplace, sharing conversation into the morning, wrapped in each others arms. She pulled away from him, rubbing away the tear that trailed down her cheek.

She cleared her throat and occupied herself with her hands. "How many?"

He looked at her, perplexed.

"How many innocent people did you kill before you got control of the hunger?" She wasn't accusing him, she just wanted all the facts.

"Y/N," he said quietly. "I didn't have anyone to help me, to walk me through things. When I became a vampire," he trailed off for a moment, letting his past sink in once more. "It would be different for you."

"Please, just answer the question."

He looked back to the fireplace and she had her answer. It had been too many to count. She had already known, she had seen the darkest part of himself, and she was afraid of what her darkest corner of her heart might look like. She stood and walked past him.

He pulled on her hand, not wanting to let her go so easily. "Where are you going?"

She sighed. "I just need to go for a walk, clear my head...I'll come back, I promise."