When the Tide Switches - Rafe Cameron

Chapter 32- Altruism or Selfishness?

It's funny how four words can completely shatter someone in a million pieces. 

"I, I cheated on you," he said. I didn't look at him, I knew that if I did I would break right there in front of him. 

"What?" I sobbed.

"A few days ago with a girl named Lola, and listen I'm sorry but it is what it is," he said. No tone of regret in his voice, not even a hint. 

All our moments come back to me, the day he said 'I love you', all our dates, the way he would hold me, "I promise to love you forever, never forget that. I love you so much, Lillian Bianca Jones,". All bullshit. "We're over," I said tears on my cheeks. Tears that he would usually wipe off my face. Rafe nodded and turned around, thinking that I was leaving already. 

"Are you even sorry?" I asked him. "Yeah," he said, but his tone was the last thing that crashed my last hope. Rafe cheated on me, and he didn't feel bad. 

I looked at my hand, wearing the ring he gave me the day we got together. 

"This is just a promise ring, I promise to be by your side for all of it. For all the ups and downs. I promise to one day marry you," Liar. 

Then I touched the necklace, the necklace I once found comfort in. The words 'I promise to love you forever' lingered in my mind. I took both the objects off my body and threw them at him. 

"You promise to love me forever? You're a liar Rafe. You're a fucking liar, and I hate you, I really fucking do," I said to him, turned around, and left Tanny Hill.

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Rafe's POV:

Ever since Lillian told me what Daniel did to her the day of the kidnapping, a sense of guilt had filled my entire body. Daniel had found Lillian because of me, because I befriended him, and because of that stupid video that went viral at the Italian restaurant. 

It was all my fault. 

Lillian got raped because of me. Lillian got hurt because of me. 

I didn't deserve her. She deserved someone who loved her, who could protect her from all the bad in the world, and I had failed to do that. 

That's how I came to the conclusion that she was too good for me and shouldn't be with me. I knew that she was the one, I would never be able to find someone as good as her, but I knew she could find someone better than me. 

If you love someone, you will let them go. 

That's what I had to do with Lillian. I needed her to hate me. Because I also knew that she didn't blame me for what happened. So I came up with the idea of 'cheating on her' to make her hate me. 

Of course, I didn't cheat on her, I could never even look at another woman without wishing for her to be Lillian. 

Lillian was always going to be mine, but for her own good I would have to see her life go on and observe her bloom into the smart and successful woman that she would become from the sidelines, and I was trying to cope with that. 

Lillian was tough, she could live without me, unlike me with her. 

A knock on my door got me out of my thoughts and brought me back to reality. It was happening. I was breaking up with the love of my life. 

All because of the man I hated most in the world. Daniel. 

"Hey, uh you can sit wherever you want," I said and Lillian nodded. "So what did you want to talk about?" she asked me. My heart beat strong and fast in my chest. 

"Uhm I have something to tell you," she nodded her head, telling me to go on. 

"Something happened recently and I feel like you deserve to know," I said. I could see her face change, one of sadness and confusion replacing the usual beautiful smile I was used to. "Rafe, what are you talking about?" she said, tears starting to form in her eyes. That sight broke me more than I thought it would, her crying because of me. 

"I uh, I cheated on you," I said. "You what?" I could see those words shatter her, along with me. 

I hate love. It only ends up breaking everyone involved. 

"I, I cheated on you," I said. I was grateful she wasn't looking at me, had she been doing that, she would see the look on my face. One of guilt sadness and love, for her. I was acting as if I didn't care about her when really she was the only thing I cared about. 

"What?" she sobbed. Breaking my heart even more. "A few days ago with a girl named Lola, and listen I'm sorry but it is what it is," I said. 

"We're over," she said tears on her cheeks. 

Tears that I would usually wipe off her face. 

I nodded and turned around, if I didn't she would see me, and if she saw me she would know. That's how it is with Lillian, she always knows when I'm sad, angry, happy, and on and on. She knows me better than I do. She knows everything better than I do. 

"Are you even sorry?" she asked me. "Yeah," I said, trying to sound as unbothered as I could, she needed to hate me. All of a sudden I could see her necklace and her ring being thrown at me. "You promise to love me forever? You're a liar Rafe. You're a fucking liar, and I hate you, I really fucking do," she said to me, turned around, and left Tanny Hill. 

Mission accomplished I guess. She hated me, the one person who loved me for me hated me. And I orchestrated all of it. 

What did I do? 

"Fuck," I yelled and out of anger, punched a hole in the wall of my bedroom. A bedroom that Lillian once used to sleep in, feel safe in, one that was now haunted by the presence of the woman I loved most in the world. 

The only person I loved in the world. 

And she wasn't mine. 

I ran out of my house, got on my bike and my emotions brought me to one place. 

Barry's. 

I consumed one line after the other, each one making me forget. Making me forget who Lillian had become to me, making me only remember who I was before summer started. Making me forget all the pain I had caused to Lillian. Making me forget the fact that she wasn't mine. 

Back to my old self.

Notes From The Author: 

Oh my fucking god bro. I was crying while writing this and I'm so sorryyyyy guys. But once again this is just the starttt. I'm slowly making my way back to long chapters and next one is probably going to be normal length againn. 

I'm so excited to see where the story will take Lillian and Rafe but rn I just want to punch the miscommunication if the face.  

Thank you so much for reading and please vote or comment!!! 

Love you all so much! X!