In each universe in which he left, he left with nothing but a reminder of my worthlessness. Proof of how the man who loved me most could never have loved me enough to stay. His leaving was silent, yet it screamed of his heart being always with a woman who died before he got to the same page as she, their steps out of synch, their chimes never quite on the hour.
All it solidified, as he sat old and fragile on the bench, was that I meant nothing at all, and it was that thought that stuck with me long after his death, long after his memorial, and I was convinced would stick with me long after my cold body was placed in the grave.
Hopelessly, I know, I would love him endlessly.
See, there are some in life who come and go. Always to-and-fro. Others, they linger. Their faces distort over the years, but their laughter? Their humour?
It stays with you.
And he stayed with me. His betrayal cut deeper than any wound could have dreamed; the blood never stopped seeping through the faint cracks in my skin, yet I loved him. He had promised to be there 'til the end of the line, and in one regard, he hadn't broken his promise at all. His line had ended far before mine, yet he had been there, and I had loved him.
Hopelessly, foolishly, recklessly, I loved him.
I loved him more in a second than his Peggy could have loved him in a lifetime. For that I was proud, yet I hung my head in shame. The man who I'd have followed into the jaws of death or the depths of hell...
He'd never managed to feel the same.
He would have died for the creature crushed under his tire perhaps more than he would could have lived for me.
For that, I am angry.
Somehow, I am not angry enough to persuade myself to
Let
Him
Go.
BINABASA MO ANG
~ Another Love ~
Fanfiction~ Loosely Canon~ Two years since Steve went back and Bucky is hardly able to remember the days of the week. Sam tried his hardest, and to his credit, some of Bucky's happiest days have been with him and Sarah. It just isn't the same. Nothing is the...
