I turned around and saw Joseph standing at the other end of the couch. He looks at me,with tears in his eyes. He places the suitcases down onto the floor and walked over to me. He wraps his arms around my waist. He pulls me into a hug,but I didn't hug him back. I left my arms to my sides. I couldn't hug him. He cheated on me and I don't have a clue what I did to make him do that. My heart is breaking. He lowers himself down onto his knees and wraps his arms around my legs. I stared down at him and noticed he was still crying. He looks up at me and says "Baby I am sorry. She...she means nothing to me. I don't love her like I love you. We have been together for 4 years. Please darling,give me a second chance." I wanted to forgive him. But I just couldn't. I stared into his sad eyes and said "Joseph,I can't forgive you. You were already planning on breaking up with me. So I did you the favor first. Go be with her. Because apparently, she is the one you actually need. You love her,not me. So get off your knees and go. Don't make this even harder on me,please!" Joseph stands up and places a kiss on my cheek. With tears in my eyes I looked at him,while he gathered his suitcase. 4 years of my life I gave him all of my love. I am broken deep inside and there is nothing in this world that fix this type of hurt that I am feeling.
I walked him to the door and watched him put his suitcases in the trunk of the taxi. He gets it and rolls down the window and yells out to me "Please don't forget about. Because I will never forget about you." He still had tears in his eyes. I watched the taxi turn the corner. I slid down my door frame with tears in my eyes. My best friend Dallas shows up and she saw me sitting by my door. She sits down next to me and said "Sweetheart,what is wrong? Please tell me." She rubs the small of my back and I lay my head on her shoulder. I told her everything that happened. She felt so bad for me,because she knew I loved Joseph with all my heart. And now he is gone. Gone and he isn't coming back.
*Time Skip*
It has been a few months since Joseph and I broke up. It has been the hardest few months without him by my side. I scroll through my tik tok, and I have been seeing videos that fans post of Joseph and some red-headed girl. I guess that is Trina,but I don't know, and I don't care. If he is happy,which by the looks of the picture,he is happy. I shut off my phone and laid my head down. I was just about to shut my eyes to go sleep,my phone starts to ring. I answer it. "Hello,I am very sorry for bothering you so late. But this is Trina. I got this number off of Joseph's phone. I wanted to talk to you about Joseph." I sat up in my bed,trying to get the urge to scream over the phone,but it's past midnight,so I toned my voice down a bit. "What do you want to tell me about Joseph. You clearly are in love with him since you stole him from 3 months ago." I blurted out to her. She stayed quiet for a minute or two and then answered back "Look Y/n,I am truly sorry for what I did. I feel really guilty. I never meant to hurt you in any way, and I know I did,by breaking you and Joseph up. I am sorry about that, too. Anyways,Joseph will not stop talking about you. All he keeps saying is how much he misses you and how much he still loves you. This man'd mind won't stop thinking about you. Every damn conversation,your name is brought up. He's not giving up on you. I told him that he needs to,but he won't do it. Please, Y/n,talk to him whenever you get the chance. Help him ease his mind a little bit. He thinks you forgot all about him."
I felt truly upset with what she had just mentioned. How can he still be holding on for this long? He truly did still love me. So I answered her back by saying, "Have him call me after 12 tomorrow. If he wants to get back together with me,it's not gonna happen. Him and I can still be friends,nothing more. Because I don't want what he did to me 3 months ago to happen again. I have to get some sleep. Make sure you tell him to call me,please!" I don't know why I am being so nice to the woman who broke Joseph and I up." She agreed to tell him when he wakes up. I hung up my phone and turned the volume down just a tad. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
The next day,I woke up around 10:30. I was beat and extremely tired. I got dressed and did my make-up even though I was not going anywhere. I went to my kitchen and made myself some breakfast. After eating my breakfast,I put on some Netflix and started watching Gilmore Girls. Good show,if I am being honest. I looked at the time, and it was 5 minutes to 12. I turned the volume all the way up so I could hear it ring. Once 12 hit,my phone started ringing. I looked and recognized the number. It was Joseph. I took a long, deep breath and answered. "Hello!" Joseph stayed silent for a minute, who responded back, saying, "Hi Y/n how are you doing ?" "I am doing good. I'm just watching some reruns of Gilmore Girls. What have you been up to?" I asked him. He comes out and says, "I am doing okay,I guess. Ever since the break up, I haven't been myself. I have been staying on and off with Trina and Wesley. I really,really do miss you, Y/n. I wish you and I can make a mends or something." I quickly responded back."We can meet up this weekend at our favorite cafe. And order some coffee or something. But I just want to let you know that we are only going as friends. Nothing more. What you did to me months ago,I don't want it to happen again if I gave you another shot. Do you understand me,Joseph?" Joseph stays quiet. I hear sniffling coming from the other end. "Joseph,are you crying?" In a stuttering voice, he says,"Yes,I was crying. It's not a crime to cry. I lost the love of my life. I ruined 4 years of a perfectly good and loving relationship. I feel horribly guilty. I shouldn't have done what I did to you. You did nothing wrong. You have given me love and so much grace. And I gave you nothing in return. You have done so much for me. Y/n. I wish there was a way to repay you. But there isn't!" I was quiet for a few moments. I was trying to comprehend what he just said to me. "Darling,are you still there? You've gone quiet." He responds to my silence. I gave a little smile and responded back. "Joseph,I don't need anything in return. You there is nothing you can do to repay me. You have done enough. You are right about a few things,I have given you so much love and so much grace and passion. And I also cared for your well being also. Whenever you were sick,who was there to give you what you needed? Who was there when you got the offer to play in Stranger Things. I bent over backwards for you,Joseph. And what did you give me,a slap in the face. I would never have broken your heart the way you did mine. Well I have to go now. I have to get ready. My mother's picking me up. I am gonna be spending a month with my family in South Wales. So I will try and chat with you when I get back."
Before we hung up,Joseph said something that caught me off guard. "Y/n,I still love you. Never forget that!" How can a man love someone for so long after a break up. How hard must that be? I smiled and said back to him "I still love you too,but only as a friend. Nothing more. Now I gotta go. Talk soon!" I hung up the phone. I slid down the wall with tears in my eyes. How can he still be in love? How is he not over me yet? I just don't get it. He is the only one who knows. And I have to be the one to find out the reason.
*Author's Note *
I am gonna end this part on a short note. But I was thinking of writing a second part to this one. But I wanna make sure you guys will read them and comment. This is the 4th story I have written about Joseph and Y/n. This one was a little bit shorter than the other three,but its alright.
I Have To Let You Go
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