5 months since Jamiir
Kamaria opened the door fiddling with her apron.She opened the walk-in fridge and she starts to prepare the food for the day. She heats up the oven as she starts to make the batter for the various cakes and the specials of the day.She mixes matcha. powder,Chocolate chips,and Cinnamon sugar in her different doughs of batters. She opened her bakery 3 years ago and she was consistently changing the menu up to keep people interested.
She wipes her tired eyes as she puts the cakes, scones and cookies in the oven. She could barely sleep these days. She was just passing the days at this point.She changed the specials board at the front when America Hughes, her best friend, clocked in at the front.
"Hey bitch" America says groggily and Kamaria groans in response. "I know we should be responsible and allat other shit but still why do we have to wake up so early"she says yawning. Kamaria ignores her comment and goes back in the kitchen and starts preparing the strawberry dough for cinnamon rolls.
Kamaria's phone rings as America walks in still rubbing her eyes and Kamaria glances at it. Her face immediately goes into annoyance as she declines the call. "Cench?" America questions and Kamaria nods, spreading her cinnamon mixture onto the dough.
"He's just worried about you Maria..We're all worried about you" America says as she checks on the baked goods in the oven. "Well don't be. I'm fine" Kamaria says, lying like a bitch. Before America can say anything else Kamaria makes a swift exit into the blast chiller.
3 months earlier
"I'm not going!" Kamaria yells at Cee storming out of the room. "Yea the fuck you are!" He says the following after her. "I don't need therapy Cench.Just fucking drop it" Kamaria says agitated. Jamiir had died 67 days ago and Kamaria had still not recovered.Not that she would ever admit it.Cench was worried,Scratch that everyone was worried. Jamiir was the only family she had left. Their parents had died in a house fire when Kamaria was 18 leaving Kamaria and Jamiir alone.
After fighting for custody Kamaria was given Jamiir's parental rights and had been taken care of him ever since.She even moved to London to try and give him a better life than what they had in North Carolina. So for Jamiir to die because of the thing she thought she was protecting him from. It was eating her alive. She thought she had failed him.
"Stop being childish and face your feelings Kamaria! You're obviously not in the best mental state of mind right now and I understand that" He says attempting to calm her down . "You understand Cench? Did you just say that?" she says laughing in disbelief. He goes silent regretting what he had previously said.
"My only family died 67 days ago. Because of me..But you know what i'm feeling right." Kamaria says, interrupting the silence. "I didn't mean it like that Maria-" "You still said it tho". "I'm just worried about you" he says trying to grab her hand but she pulls away. "You can let yourself out Oakley" she says walking to her room more mentally tired than she was before.
She leaves him in the room feeling defeated. He just wanted to help.
Present
Kamaria walks into her apartment late after work. She had been trying to keep herself occupied from her depressive thoughts and it was working for a little bit but now she had nothing to do. She tried bringing a new show on netflix but it didn't draw her in. Sleeping,She couldn't sleep. Working out,She didn't have the energy. Eating,Couldn't bring herself to. She found herself wandering into her little brother's room. It was like a force was drawing her towards it.
She sat on Jamiir's bed and played with the sketches he had left behind with him.
5 months ago
Kamaria woke up in her bed instantly feeling pain radiate from her shoulder. She sees America with tear streaks imminent on her face as she has fallen asleep on the chair next to her bed and the memories from last night erupt in her mind. The shots,Jamiir crumbling to the floor,him taking his last breath. The sudden revelation made her mouth water and she dashed into her bathroom throwing her guts up..
She heaved into the toilet as she sobbed repeatedly. She feels two arms hold on to her as she heavily breathed trying to stop the panic attack she felt was coming on. America holds on to her hand rubbing it.
"Jamir.He's-He's" Kamaria says scared out of her mind. "I'm so sorry my love"
"I'm so sorry".
Present
Tears flood her eyes as she stares at the carefully drawn sketches. Jamiir died 5 months ago, so why was she still being affected by it? She was so tired of feeling like this. It hurt her just to wake up knowing that her little brother wasn't going to be there in his room sleeping soundly. It hurt to brush her teeth knowing he wouldn't be doing the same right next to her. It hurt to be alive most of the time.
The feeling was taking over her mind. She couldn't take it anymore. She wanted relief. She scoured her brothers room quickly finding the blade she hid. She starts to slice through her skin as hard as she can not caring the pain that it was causing her. This was her relief
Her piece of mind.
A/N
...Yall ik the story is a lil sad right now but I promise its finna get past it. Love yalllllllll
