strings attached ; firstprince

chapter eight

Although, of course he would. It's Henry.

As Alex continues his run, his thoughts become consumed by the idea of a playlist. It's a way to capture their shared memories, emotions, and the essence of their relationship through music; something he knows and he's good at. He envisions carefully selecting each track, each song resonating with Alex on how he feels about Henry.

The rhythmic pounding of his footsteps serves as a beat, and in his mind, he starts assembling a mental playlist. By the time, he has every song thought out, he has the idea of recording all of them, singing them himself and then burning it onto a CD.

When he returns to his dorm after his run, something ignites in him; a spark of excitement as he starts strumming on his guitar, looking up the chord progression of his selected songs and learning them one by one. Luckily for Alex, he can learn a song quickly if he wants to. Just by listening to a song, he can picture the chords and recreate it himself.

The hardest part is remembering the lyrics, so before he decides to record, he makes sure he has a tab of each songs' lyrics on his laptop ready to go.

It only takes him about 5 hours of praciting in between coffee/food breaks and a concerned phone call from June to feel ready to record. He opens his laptop on his music software and presses record.

"Hi Henry," Alex starts, his voice a little shaky and his fingers twitching as they rest on his guitar. "I haven't been good at telling you how I feel lately. What I did... It was shit, I know that. I tried to tell you so many times but I just didn't want to fuck this up. I like you so much, like, more than I can really put into words.... So I've picked a few songs that when I listen to them... I think of you, every word I'm about to sing. I mean it. I really mean it, Henry. I know that it took Pez asking me to flirt with you to get to know how amazing you are but I like to believe, eventually I'd fall for you, no matter the timeline, no matter the circumstance... Anyway, I'm rambling," Alex huffs out a short laugh.

"The first song I've chosen is "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac. I honestly wanted to play it for you in person, I was planning on asking you to be my boyfriend but then... Well, you know what happened. This song, is really how I feel about you," Alex says, following by an sullen sigh. He beings playing the song, every word he sings is emotional and true. Alex realises, this is a confession of love and he sings it, meaning every word.

Alex continues singing eight more songs, explaining why he chose it before singing each of them. He sings "Invisible string" and "Betty" by Taylor Swift, making a lighthearted joke about June's influence.

Then followed by, "Pretty boy" by The Neighbourhood, "TALK ME DOWN" by Troye Sivan. Both express the comfort Henry gives him, just by being in his company.

He plays "Falling" by Harry Styles and "Ur so pretty" by Wasia Project, Alex uses these two songs to express how much in the wrong he knows he is in, how this past week without contact has made him feel and how much it killed him to hurt Henry.

"Lastly," Alex says, his voice a little strained, a little breathless and his chest feeling heavy. "I'm going to play 'The few things' again, when I performed that song, I did it for you. I may not know what the fuck I'm doing half the time, but I know you are one of the few things I am so certain about. I hate that Pez had to get me to open my eyes to see it but fuck, Henry. I really care about you. I hate that I let you down."

Alex plays that same song from the ball, closing his eyes as he sings it. He's back on stage, his eyes locked on Henry at the back of the hall, serenading him with this song. Meaning all of it. Alex would do anything to go back to that night, where Henry still smiled at him, still trusted him. Still wanted him.