strings attached ; firstprince

chapter seven

"I need to talk to him," Alex says, breathless and utterly lost.

But Pez, approaching June and Alex with a serious countenance, interjects, "I don't think that's a good idea, he won't want to hear from either of us."

"What the fuck do I do?" Frustration and anxiety tangle in Alex's chest, and he releases a long breath, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Pez I want to call it off. I don't want you to pay for my tuition anymore. Henry means so much more than that. I should've done this months ago."

"Of course." Pez nods solemnly before he starts walking towards the exit, turning his head before he leaves. "I'm going to see if he's okay."

After the door closes for the second time, Alex feels overwhelmed with distraught hurt, but it's all his fault. He kept pushing it off, telling himself he'll tell him but he never did. How is Henry going to forgive him this time.

Without thinking, he follows after Pez and a gush of cold air hits his face but yet everything around him is blurred and he can barely register each step he takes. Although, he instantly comes to a halt when Pez's voice curls from around the corner.

"Henry you can't blame Alex for this, it was my idea. I just couldn't stand Connor impacting your life a whole country away–"

"My love life is none of your concern, and you had no right to meddle with it," Henry's voice, filled with anger and hurt, interrupts Pez's explanation.

Alex remains hidden, listening to the hushed conversation around the corner. He can sense the tension in the air, the raw emotions that hang between Henry and Pez like an invisible barrier.

Pez's voice is filled with sincerity as he responds, "I know, Henry, and I'm truly sorry. But I thought... I thought it might help you move on, find happiness again."

There's a heavy pause, and Alex can almost picture Henry, his expression conflicted and those furrowed eyebrows. "Pez, what you did, it wasn't your place. I appreciate that you care, but this was something I needed to figure out on my own. And now, I don't know what to believe anymore."

Alex's heart aches as he listens to Henry's words. The pain in his voice is unmistakable, and it cuts deep into Alex's soul.

"I understand, Henry," Pez says softly. "I am truly sorry. And Alex..."

Henry's voice turns even colder, his anger palpable. "I don't want to talk about Alex right now."

Alex feels like he's been punched in the gut. Henry's words are like a knife to his heart, and he has to fight back tears. He knows he deserves this, but it doesn't make it any easier to bear.

Pez's voice, though remorseful, remains steady. "I just want you to know that he didn't want any of this. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he was afraid of losing you. He has genuine feelings for you."

The silence that follows is deafening, and Alex can only imagine the turmoil raging inside Henry. The weight of his own guilt presses down on him, threatening to suffocate him.

Finally, Henry speaks, his voice softer, more vulnerable. "I just... I need time, Pez. I need time to sort through all of this. And I need space. Please respect that."

There's a heavy silence that fills the air and then the sound of Henry's footstops dissolving into the distance. With a deep sigh, he turns back towards the ball and to June and Nora who share a concerned glance with each other.

"Alex," Nora sighs, concern etched across her face. "Is he okay?"

Alex doesn't trust his voice for a moment, so he simply nods, trying to convey that Henry is physically okay, at least. His heart aches with the knowledge that emotionally, Henry is far from okay.

June steps closer, her hand resting gently on Alex's shoulder. "And you? Are you okay?"

Alex swallows hard, struggling to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He manages a shaky smile. "I will be. I just need to give him space before I even try fixing this."

Nora gives him a supportive rub on the back. "That's the right thing to do, Alex. And we'll be here for you."

June nods in agreement, smiling in a way to offer reassurance. Although he feels like he doesn't deserve this comfort he's being offered, so he clears his throat. "Let's just get back to the ball, make sure everything is um... running smoothly."

"Alex you don't have to stay, we got this under control," Nora tells him sincerely.

"Are you sure?" Alex asks, even though he knows, June and Nora always have things under control.

"Of course," June says. "Message us when you get to your room."

Alex nods numbly, leaving once again. When he gets to his dorm room, his steps are heavy and his heart is even heavier. The weight of the evening's events, the emotional turmoil, and the realization of how much he'd hurt Henry gnaw at him relentlessly.

As he steps inside his room and closes the door behind him, the silence envelops him like a shroud. He reaches for his phone to message June, but his body works on autopilot and immediately he hits Henry's contact, the way he usually does. He freezes, staring at the phone and contemplating his next move.

He quickly messages June as promised and stares at his phone for a moment, considering whether he should try to reach out to Henry but knowing it would be no use right now. He didn't even want to talk about him, why would he want to talk to him?

He stands there for a moment, feeling utterly lost and overwhelmed. The room, which had once been a sanctuary, now feels suffocating.

Alex toes off his shoes and discards his blazer on the floor, uncaring if it creases. He collapses into his desk chair, burying his face in his hands. His shoulders shake with the weight of suppressed emotions, and it doesn't take long before the first tear falls.

The tears come in torrents, hot and relentless. He cries not just for the pain he's caused Henry but for the pain he's caused himself. He cries for the love he's afraid he's lost and the future that now seems uncertain and all he can blame is himself.

In the dimly lit room, Alex lets himself break down completely, the sobs wracking his body as he tries to make sense of the mess he's created. It's a raw and cathartic release of emotions that he'd bottled up for far too long.

Minutes turn into hours as Alex weeps, his heartache echoing in the emptiness of the room. Alex tries to form a list of things he can do to fix it but can barely form a coherent thought, he feels like all control in his life has been ripped from him and everything has crumbled.

He tries to make a list, tries to create something tangible and solid that he can cling to as a reprieve.

One, best case scenario, Henry forgives him but never trusts him again.

Two, he's hurt Henry so thoroughly, that he doesn't know if Henry ever will forgive him.

Three, he's no better than Connor.

His list stops there, his mind reeling over the possibility that he could be worse than the person Pez paid Alex to help Henry get away from. Suddenly, Alex feels like he can't breathe.

Eventually, he moves from his desk chair to his bed, not even bothering to change as he hiccups through the relentless sobs. He craves Henry's presence desperately, aching to be consoled by the one person he hurt so much.

He falls into a fitful sleep hours later, doing his best to rest with tear stains on his pillow and a broken heart.