strings attached ; firstprince

chapter six

"Are you still afraid?" Henry asks suddenly, voice laced with uncertainty. Alex feels his thoughts of telling him come to a halt, instead trying to figure out what Henry means.

"Of what?"

"Of, well, love, I suppose," Henry shrugs nervously, his eyes not seeming to stay still. "You were quite concerned about it when we walked home from the bar that night."

"Oh." Alex exhales. Every time he gets to this stage with someone—it's never really gotten this far honestly—Alex ruins it somehow. He's made a list previously and at the top is the fact that he either gets in his head about it and leaves before he can be left or he sabotages everything by closing himself off completely. Nothing on his list has happened with Henry yet. "I think I'm more afraid of being Connor."

He didn't expect to confess that tonight.

"Alex... You are nothing like him. He had ulterior motives and was solely with me for the benefits of having a movie star as a Father," Henry says as he places a gentle hand on Alex's leg, sending a tingling sensation through his body. Somehow, his answer made him feel worse. Alex had ulterior motives initially. He tries painfully hard not to dwell on that with Henry right in front of him.

"Henry, I'm just so sorry," Alex says, his voice cracks and he feels himself become nauseated.

"You have nothing to apologise for," Henry says as he rubs circles on Alex's back. He feels himself unraveling and melting beneath the palm of his hand. Henry's voice somehow consoling every misshapen thought and emotion that's fogging his head.

"Your dad," is all Alex can muster. He feels painfully exposed and vulnerable like Henry can see inside his head.

"You know," Henry huffs out a short laugh that's bitter and hurt. "It's funny, my father always disliked Connor. He never said it, but I knew he did..." He trails off, eyes searching Alex's. "In the two months I've known you, you've offered me far more empathy than Connor did our entire relationship."

Alex looks into Henry's eyes, pained and glassy. Alex tries to form a coherent thought, which seemingly fails so he places a comforting hand on Henry's cheek, tracing circles with his thumb.

"Don't you hate it when they're always right," Alex says softly, offering a small smile. He feels Henry's face heat up under his hand, followed by a face-crinkling smile. "If it's any consolation, I bet he'd be proud of you right now. Leaving relationships like that isn't easy, I saw how hard it was for June with her ex-boyfriend. As much as he hurt you, he was still a big part of you."

Henry slackens and a tear trickles from his eye. Alex drops his hand and instantly panics, feeling like he's overstepped. "Oh, I'm sorry-"

"No," Henry interjects, grabbing a hold of Alex's hand that had fallen between them. "It's nice to just talk about him conversationally. I feel like it was even harder to leave because Connor was there, for everything. He has this part of me from before my father was gone."

"He doesn't have any of you. You're all still in here," Alex says, placing a hand on Henry's chest. Henry's heart pounds through his skin, picking up the pace shortly after his hand rests there. "You took it back when you left."

Henry kisses him and it takes Alex by surprise, not expecting this to be where their conversation led. Alex attempts to think back to his list of things he had to say but then Henry's fingers thread through his hair and his mind becomes silent. Alex can't believe how it feels every time they kiss and each time it shuts his brain off and his thoughts cease completely. Instead, all he can do is feel. Feel Henry's mouth, his touch, his chest, his hair. He feels it all and wants more of it.