Kavetham Angst

When did it end?

Kaveh and Alhaitham get into an argument per usual, but Kaveh and Alhaitham tried to have a rule where it's like 'we don't leave the house until we resolve the argument' and Kaveh wanted to try it this time but Alhaitham didn't so he left, and on the TV later on whilst Kaveh was waiting for Alhaitham to get back, he sees that he passed away. So Kaveh cries and remembers the argument and what he could have done to fix it and remembers every other argument he had with Alhaitham and remembers all of the fond memories they had together and begins to blame himself for the argument. 'Had that argument not happened, I wouldn't have lost him. It's my fault', and Kaveh spends the years mourning Alhaitham and the only time a smile ever comes to his face is when he remembers things. Like when Alhaitham would smile when he read or... the light, soft smile he would give Kaveh and even his eyebrows would raise. The way they would bicker would cause Alhaitham to smirk the majority of the time. The glances Alhaitham would steal at Kaveh and he would even zone out during arguments to admire Kaveh's appearance and Kaveh would think Alhaitham was ignoring me so he would shout, 'are you even listening to me, Alhaitham!?' and Alhaitham would snap back into it and nod, a small smirk on his face like always. All the times Alhaitham would go to the Tavern with Kaveh, Tighnari and Cyno and drink from Kaveh's cup, small details like that were the ones Kaveh would not notice... If only they had not argued that day... would the same thing have happened? Would he still be alive? 

The Aftermath:

Kaveh frequently visits Alhaitham's grave, he wears black on a daily basis instead of his signature outfit he used to wear and leaves flowers at his grave. Ever since Alhaitham passed away, Kaveh has been struggling heavily taking care of himself, his hair is no longer brushed frequently and he no longer wears the feather in his hair, nor the red hair clips and signature braid. His hair is now kept down or tied in a messy bun. He's been struggling to keep up with the deadlines of his commissions and has been frequently visiting Taverns and drinking far more. Shortly after the Tavern visits with Tighnari and Cyno, they would all visit his grave together, per usual. The shock Kaveh had from Alhaitham's passing wore off and it finally hit him... Kaveh fell to his knees and began hysterically sobbing and yelling for Alhaitham to come back, grabbing onto his headstone as Tighnari and Cyno tried so desperately to pick him up, to no avail, as Kaveh would yell 'Don't touch me! I wanna be with him! I wanna hold him! Don't tear me away from him!' he would hug the headstone as if, in his mind, it was some way to hold Alhaitham in a way he never could when Alhaitham was still alive.

Friend In Need:

Tighnari and Cyno try their best to help Kaveh grieve, but all they can do is support Kaveh through these hard times. Kaveh has picked up some bad habits in order to cope, smoking and isolating himself from everyone and staying at home, where he sleeps with Alhaitham's clothes against his face to breathe in Alhaitham's scent, eventually, the scent would completely leave the clothes and Kaveh would feel awful. Each time the scent would fade from the items of clothing, he would curl up into a ball on his bed and cry. Each night, Kaveh would be unable to sleep, so he would sneak into the graveyard and sleep beside Alhaitham's grave. The cold did not bother him, he was so emotionally numb that he did not care about the changes in weather and temperature, he was willing to sit through hell in order to be as close to Alhaitham as possible.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms:

Kaveh would smoke cigarettes and sing songs alongside the music he was listening to that remind him of Alhaitham's relationship which they would say, was sort of a mixed bag back in those days... his voice would fade into the music as tears would fall down his face and his cigarette was slowly burning out, which reminds Kaveh that he feels like a cigarette, slowly burning out, useful for only one thing... he finishes dissasociating and he hears the music loud and clear now, 'Where you go, I go. What you see, I see.. I know I'd never be me, without the security, of your loving arms... keeping me from harm. Put your hand in my hand. And we'll stand. Let the sky fall (let the sky fall), when it crumbles (when it crumbles). We will stand tall (we will stand tall), face it all together.' Kaveh sobs hysterically once more to the music, dropping his cigarette and it burns him.

The Burnout:

Kaveh realized that he didn't notice that the cigarette had burnt him, the sensation absent from his body. He went to the bathroom and began to cut his hair with a pair of scissors, his vision blurry and hot tears filling his eyes. He throws his feather and red hair clips to one side, as he stares at them he reminisces all about how Alhaitham would make comments about his appearance, Kaveh slides his earrings out of his ears and places them beside the hairclips and feather. Mehrak's beeping can be heard from the living room, as if Mehrak's beeps were trying to comfort it's creator. 'Mehrak keep quiet! Not a peep out of you, alright?' Kaveh throws the hair he chopped off in the bin before leaving the bathroom, his eyes bloodshot and swollen, his face puffy. Mehrak beeps as if to ask 'Where is Alhaitham?' and this sets Kaveh off, he begins to yell at the poor multifunctional toolbox; 'HE'S GONE! HE'S GONE AND HE'S NEVER COMING BACK! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT!? WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S NOT AT HOME, HUH?!'. Mehrak lets out a series of low, sad beeps. Kaveh feels horrible and guilty for shouting at Mehrak and gently grabs the toolbox and apologizes.