Bates Motel: My Experience

Word Vomit

Soon after, mom barged in the room and I had to repeat the story. They were shocked like me. I had the urge to furiously textbomb him but I resisted. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm my mind and body. I was going to just wait and see what happens. Maybe I shocked him. I know I probably hurt him by not speaking to him after I left, but come on. Really? He didn't really reach out to me either!

Norma, mom, Emma and I all decided to run around. We went shopping and ate a late lunch/early supper. It did get my mind off Dylan. For the most part, anyway.

We went to see a movie afterwards and finally returned home. It was just turning dark. Dylan's truck was in the drive. That kind of pissed me off that he didn't even attempt to contact me. "Oh boy," Norma said under her breath when she pulled into the drive and saw his truck. "Do you want me to go tell him you're coming up to talk to him?" she asked me.

"No," I replied. "I will text him and see if he answers."

"If he doesn't, text me and I will make sure he does," she said with a quick smile as we got out of the car. I texted him right then saying, 'hey can we talk?'

By the time we got back into the room, it showed that he had read it. He just hadn't bothered to respond. "What the heck is his deal?" I said out loud.

Emma told me to let her know what happens and she left to go home. Mom sighed and told me she was sorry that it wasn't going as I had planned. I tossed my phone on the bed and went to the bathroom. When I came out mom told me I had gotten a text. My heart skipped a beat and I hurried to read it. 'Ok. Meet me outside.' I started sweating and I told mom he wants to talk. Mom wished me good luck and I ran back to the bathroom to check my face. I looked ok.

I went out into the dark evening. I saw Dylan standing against his truck with his arms crossed. I was so nervous. Why was he so upset with me?

I looked from my feet to him and back until I was right in front of him. "Hey," he said in a tone that made me feel sick.

"Hey," I said back.

"So what's up? You wanted to talk," he said.

He was being so cold to me. This was a totally different Dylan. "Yeah. What the heck is going on?" I said. I could feel my face flushing and my nerves mixing dangerously with a rising anger.

"What do you mean?"

"I come back here to talk to you and you act like you don't even know who I am!"

He unfolded his arms. "Well you are  a stranger. I haven't seen you or heard from you for how long?"

"I told you I needed some time."

"Why the hell did you need so much time? I didn't take time when I found out about Caleb! I came running back to you to tell you I loved you and you had left! Left to go home without even saying goodbye!" he started semi-shouting.

Tears were on their way. "I know! I'm sorry! But I'm here now!"

"And? You think that's just going to fix everything? By talking when you're ready? Well I've been ready for the past month and I never pushed you into anything. I figured you would want  to talk to me but I guess I was mistaken."

If only he knew that it hurt me so bad not to talk to him. I ran my hands through my hair and squeezed it, giving my scalp a mini massage. "I wanted to talk to you, but I was scared. I still am! You work with drugs! People are fucking crazy! I'm scared I'm going to get hurt or my family or you!"

Dylan met eyes with me. "You're right. You shouldn't be involved with me. It's safer that way." With that, he turned to head back to the house. I grabbed his arm roughly, and made him look me in the eyes. My eyes felt hot and wet. "HEY!" I shouted at him, warning him not to leave. "I feel like I don't even know you anymore. Did you really change that fast?" I pleaded with him not to leave by my facial expression.

"You don't know me," he stated and jerked his arm away.

"So what?" I cried. "Do you not even love me now?"

He kept walking.

"Dylan, I love you! Please!"

He kept walking.

How could he do this? I was losing it. He was breaking my heart. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

He didn't stop walking, but he shifted his gate, as if he almost wanted to stop and turn around. But he didn't. He quickened his pace and I watched him as he started up the steps and with my fists clenched and my eyes sopping with the brimming tears, I jerked my head away from his backside and stormed back to the room without another look at him.