ᴡʜɪꜱᴘᴇʀꜱ ᴏꜰ ʟᴏᴠᴇ'ꜱ ᴜɴᴅᴏɪɴɢ | ᴋᴀᴇʏᴀxʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

2.

Trigger Warning - physical fighting, domestic abuse, self-harm, self-hatred, and the continued theme of alcohol addiction.

Kaeya gently stretched his limbs, as the soft pastels of dawn caressed him with warmth. Strangely, he felt a little lighter since yesterday's events. "Is this what it feels like to be rested?" he mused silently, before he became acutely aware of faint shuffling sounds nearby. For a moment, all became still for Kaeya. Then realisation struck like a bolt of lightning. Y/N must have reported him to the Knights as a sick joke, kicking him whilst he was down. He could already see the pieces falling into place: how he fell on her, the false accusations, his current status in Mondstadt. He was now certain to be jailed for life; after all, it was the perfect "harassment case". Quiet rage began to simmer inside him, and slowly rose to the surface as a certain, h/c-haired head appeared at the doorway, peeking into his allocated room before entering.
"Good morning Kaeya!" Y/N greeted him cheerfully, "Erm, I wanted to let you know that I'll be heading to duty now. I've made a quick lunch for you and stored it in the fridge, also please take the pills on the stand next to you - okay?" Her kindness only added fuel to Kaeya's anger.
"This mask you wear," Kaeya began, his voice quiet yet laden with accusation, "it would be best for both of us if you skipped ahead and had me arrested right now." His intense glare bore into Y/N, leaving her face drained of color, disbelief etched across her features. Her jaw hung open slightly, shocked by the blatant accusation. After a moment, she regained her composure and spoke slowly, her voice laced with hurt and confusion.
"I can understand that there is no reason to trust me Kaeya. But why accuse me? What have I done until now, that such statements of yours could be deemed reasonable?" Y/N shook her head slowly at Kaeya, who could now clearly see her eyes brimming with tears.
"If I had any suspicions or bad intentions towards you, why would I leave you unattended in my home?" Y/N voice remained soft but carried a tone of genuine confusion and hurt. Ah shit, Kaeya mentally scolded himself. In that moment, he only felt self-loathing. Thoughts of self-hatred and plans to abandon Y/N's dwelling coursed through his mind like lightning, before they were interrupted by a sad voice.
"I don't want to be late for work, so I'll go now. Please don't leave, we can talk this out later," Y/N murmured sadly. As she turned to leave, she paused for a second. "And I guess with nobody here, it gets lonely sometimes."

Once Y/N had gone, Kaeya couldn't help but berate himself, his frustration and self-disgust boiling over. He thumped his head into the pillow, his muffled voice filled with anger and anguish.
"You fool, there was one person who chose not to judge you, and you've disappointed them already," Kaeya growled at himself, the weight of his own actions bearing down on him. It wasn't so much Y/N's words, but her tearful eyes that stabbed Kaeya with guilt. After a while of hitting his head and fists against the pillow, he realised that it did little to numb his raw emotions - they were too intense.
So he resorted to what he usually turned to.

Having changed into his freshly-washed outfit, Kaeya found his belongings that were resting on the white kitchen counter; he spied his last few coins of Mora. Swiftly pocketing them, he left Y/N's house in search of his much-needed Snezhnayan whiskey.
However, this journey felt notably different. Kaeya felt even worse than he did after accusing Y/N. Why was this? Why did he now feel that it would be wrong to spend his rightful Mora on the usual alcohol?
"I guess it wouldn't be right to indulge my addictions in her home..." he admitted to himself with a tinge of shame. Stopping in his tracks, Kaeya was on the verge of turning around and retreating, when his eye caught sight of a fruit stall nearby. The stall was not as extravagant as the rest, but instead presented a variety of lavish fruits - sunsettia, strawberries, pears and apples, to name a few. Kaeya's mind began to think as he approached the stall, being led by a little Mondstadter girl. He continued thinking as his gaze swept over the prices.
I suppose it wouldn't hurt to buy these...I didn't see Y/N carry lunch with her to work, and she will probably be tired later. With that thought, Kaeya exchanged his hard-earned Mora for a large bag of assorted fruits, his impulsive act a silent promise to himself to make amends in his own small way.

Once Kaeya had returned to Y/N's home, he walked nonchalantly towards the house, but noticed the presence of a tall figure with fiery ginger hair. He recognised him well from previous encounters during his time as Cavalry Captain.
Is he here to ambush me? Kaeya pondered. But for what? How did he find out my location?  These thoughts swirled around Kaeya's mind; nevertheless he knew that his next moves must be actioned carefully.
"Well, well, if it isn't Tartaglia. I must ask, what brings you here to Mondstadt?" Kaeya spoke, faking an air of confidence. The tall Fatui Harbinger turned his head, a smirk appearing on his face and a glint of amusement in his eyes.
"Kaeya Alberich. Just taking a morning stroll, and running an errand. By the way, condolences on the job loss - I did enjoy sparring with you," Tartaglia mildly taunted. Kaeya subtly raised his eyebrow.
"I see. What errands do you have planned today?" he asked.
Tartaglia casted a glance at Y/N's home.
"I'm here to take my girlfriend back to the Fatui."
The revelation hung in the air - Kaeya was surprised. A pleasant girl like Y/N being part of the Fatui? This must be a kidnapping, Kaeya concluded. There was simply no chance that Y/N would be able to live, knowing the atrocities that the Fatui committed regularly. 
He decided.
Stepping forward and blocking the door, Kaeya's expression darkened.
"I may not be a Knight anymore, but I still possess the same skills as I did when we fought. Would you like a reminder?" he growled as icicles danced at his fingertips. Tartaglia's grin didn't waver, but his eyes hinted at a readiness for conflict. Kaeya's anger stirred inside him. Then he acted. Kaeya's movements were like a dance, fluid and calculated. He lunged at Tartaglia, his footsteps soundless, and as he neared, he unleashed a flurry of cryo attacks. Shards of ice shot from his fingertips, forming an intricate and deadly dance in the air.

Tartaglia, his instincts sharp and honed, dodged Kaeya's attacks with a graceful swiftness. He retaliated with hydro-infused attacks of his own. Water surged around him as he summoned a hydro blade, a shimmering, razor-sharp weapon that he wielded with deadly precision. As Kaeya and Tartaglia exchanged blows, the quiet street echoed with the sounds of clashing elements and the occasional grunt of effort. The morning sunlight filtered through the canopy of leaves overhead, casting dappled shadows that danced with the intensity of their battle. In the midst of their fight, Kaeya's thoughts raced. He couldn't let Y/N return back with Tartaglia, or even deal with this stress in the first place.
But this seemed unlikely, as it became apparent that Kaeya's long-term reliance on alcohol had impacted his combat skills; the slower reflexes, the slight hand tremble, and occasional moments of disorientation all only benefitted Tartaglia, who capitalised on these weaknesses with aggression. He moved with a fluid grace, disarming Kaeya with a precise strike, sending his cryo-infused sword clattering to the ground. With the advantage firmly in his grasp, Tartaglia leveled his weapon, a glint of triumph in his eyes, and pointed it directly. Kaeya, disarmed and visibly shaken, raised his hands in surrender. His charismatic facade had crumbled, revealing a man beat-down by his inner struggles. If this is where I meet my end, then the Archons have played a sick joke, Kaeya thought in pain.

"Tartaglia, stop what you are doing and drop your weapon! You are in foreign territory and must surrender to the Knights of Favonius!" A bold voice stated with unbiased clarity. Not looking up immediately, Tartaglia smiled at Kaeya maliciously, before straightening himself and turning to the voice, raising his hands in surrender.
"My dear, you can drop the act now." Tartaglia chuckled at the sight of Y/N aiming her bow and arrow directly at him, only to then lower it. Kaeya felt confusion take over his muddled mind - was his suspicions right? However, his gut could not believe that Y/N was part of the Fatui.
"Have I not made my stance clear enough to you, Tartaglia? I'm not coming back." Y/N's words hung in the air like a sharp knife, piercing Tartaglia's chest. His smirk turned to a scowl, and leaving Kaeya on the ground, he strode towards Y/N. Grabbing her arm harshly, he twisted it as he began to tug her away.
"You can't act this way anymore, Tartaglia!" Y/N hissed, in pain.
Watching this on the side was Kaeya, who felt utterly useless. If only I won that fight with Tartaglia, then Y/N would not be in such a position right now, Kaeya thought. He cursed his alcohol struggles, all whilst rising to his feet. Clenching the heavy fruit bag, anger bubbled inside him as Kaeya realised - all he wanted was to go back and make a simple fruit platter for Y/N. His chest felt hot inside, as he stumbled towards Tartaglia. Bag in hand, Kaeya raised his arm, before swinging the bag, knocking Tartaglia in the back of his head.
With a yell, the Fatui Harbinger fell to the ground, instantly knocked out. Oho, I did not expect that to work, Kaeya internally celebrated. His gaze rose from Tartaglia's unconscious figure to Y/N, who was visibly shaken.
"Since you are the Knight here, it is best for you to arrest him for now." Kaeya gently prompted, before turning away into Y/N's home.

Hours later, Y/N returned home, removing and hanging up her cape and jacket. Trudging tiredly into the living room, Y/N noticed something distinctly different about her surroundings. Pausing for a moment, she couldn't help but smile at the fresh lavender scent that filled the room and the pristine white tables and countertops.
"Ah, Y/N, you're back. How was your shift?" Kaeya greeted her with genuine enthusiasm as he emerged from the kitchen, a platter of freshly sliced fruits in his hands. Upon seeing Y/N's reaction, Kaeya couldn't help but smile, a genuine, radiant smile that hadn't graced his face in a long time. Y/N, clearly touched by the effort he had put in, was momentarily speechless, her hand resting over her heart. Repaying her kindness was a choice that Kaeya couldn't help but feel was well made for once. He chuckled to himself, a warmth spreading through him that matched the genuine smile on his face – a glowing, beaming, happy smile that seemed to banish the shadows that had clouded his heart for so long.
"Oh Kaeya, you didn't have to go to this length for me! I won't reject it at all though, thank you so much! Let's enjoy it together!" Y/N laughed happily. The two of them sat cross-legged on the plush, white carpet, and delighted themselves in the various sliced fruit that was there to taste. Whilst they ate and shared opinions on each fruit, Kaeya internally decided that Y/N was unlikely to betray him. Despite Y/N potentially having been a part of the Fatui before, Kaeya chose to trust that she was harmless, and not out to ruin him.
Besides...for the first time in a long time...he felt lighter, and happy? If this is what happiness feels like, Kaeya wondered, then yes I am, in this very moment, happy.