Climb Every Mountain, With You (Shubman Gill x Ishan Kishan)

A reluctant acceptance

How Shubman wished he hadn't said that now, when they probably had like half an hour together left anyway. How he wished he could control his bursts of emotions.

Ishan gave a strained laugh.

"I thought there was something off about you," he said. "This was...what was off?"

Shubman could not make himself even look at Ishan in the eyes.

"I'm kind of glad, you know, Shubi," said Ishan. "Shubi, will you look at me?"

Shubman did. What choice did he have?

"I haven't given you anything to fight with and honestly, I can't bear another series like this," said Ishan. "This time it's in India and I...I can't play with everyone shouting that I'm in the team because I'm sleeping with the captain."

Shubman cringed back. "Don't say-"

"That's what they're obviously going to say, Shubi," said Ishan. "And they wouldn't be totally unjustified either. After what I did in Australia, if I was still in the squad, it would be because the captain....favours me."

Ishan pulled Shubman down to sit beside him so that he could put an arm around his waist. Shubman rested his head against Ishan's shoulder, listening in silence.

"When my career was just starting, I heard every third day....I'm in the team because the captain favours me. Maybe Rohit bhaiya did favour me. Certainly, I got more chances that the other talented guys my age.. But I never dared to ask him, you know? Like if it wasn't for me, would they be taking Rutu? Would they be taking Sanju? I never dared to ask him because I was young and I wasn't stupid enough to complain about the chances I was getting and I decided to try to make the most of them instead...."

Shubman turned to gaze at Ishan's face as he spoke.

It was strange, but they had never spoken of this before. And it felt so alien to Shubman. Wondering why he was in the team. He had never wondered why he was in the team. He had never given himself the margin to wonder that...he'd always been overachieving since his debut series....

"But I'm grown up now, Shubi, and I don't want the second half of my career to be marred with the same doubt," said Ishan. "Am I in the team because Shubman was in the meeting with the selectors? So I ask you to do this, don't ever take a decision in a selection meeting clouded with love for me. You include me only if you think it's the best for our team. And this series...after the last one....not even my most optimistic part has even a sliver of faith that I would have played well. Do you honestly think I would have?"

Shubman could have lied and said 'Yes.'

 But Ishan had been honest. He had to be honest, too.

"Not...right now, maybe," he said in a mumble. "But after a-after a break, I know you'll-"

"Yeah," said Ishan. "The domestic season and the IPL will be a good break. I promise I'll try my best to give you a situation when you don't need to fight for me. But if I don't, you promise me that you will keep our careers separate from...us."

But Shubman wasn't sure if he could promise that.

"Surely you don't think our love is fragile enough to be hurt by you being the captain India needs, Shubi?" asked Ishan.

Shubman shook his head. "You're right. I mean....of course you're right. I can't count the number of times I've told you that. I wonder when I'm going to have the satisfaction of hearing from you, 'You're right, Shubi'."  

Ishan smiled and pulled Shubman into a hug, ruffling his 'disguised' hair.

"Well, the problem with you is you'd get obnoxious if I ever say that," said Ishan. "So even if you're right, I try not to say it out loud."

"Wait, wait, that's unfair-"

The doorbell interrupted Shubman.

"There you go," he grumbled. "I hope you're happy."

He shook off Ishan's arms and went to open it. His sister was glaring at him.

"You stupid, inconsiderate idiot. Do you have any damn idea how worried I was?"

All of Shubman's philosophy about innocents being hurt in war went down the drain in the face of her anger.

"Sorry, di...."

Shahneel grabbed him in a fierce hug. "Do you know how scared I was? How scared I was? I thought....I was scared you'd..." She started to sob on his shoulder. "You'd done something terrible and....God, Shubman, I will never forgive you for this!" Though sobbing, she slapped Shubman so hard he almost fell back.

"Ouch, di, I'm said I'm sorry-"

"Sorry, you fool? Sorry, you moron?"

Shubman was saved by Ishan coming out. He'd never been more glad to see him...his sister seemed mad enough to give him several more of those painful slaps.

"Hello, Ishan," Shahneel said, trying to wipe her eyes quickly and take out her phone. "Shub, Mom and Dad want to talk to you..."

"Of course they do," muttered Shubman.

"No, it's not what you think," said Shahneel. She sounded strange, not just from all the crying.

Shubman took the phone, frowning.

His parents did not start attacking like his sister had.

"Shubi, thank God you're safe, son," his mother said. "And okay, since you deliberately kept us worrying, which you've never done in your life, we understand this....matter...about Ishan is really serious, really important."

"You realize now?" said Shubman. "You actually realize now?" he corrected.

"Yes, we, we do. So your father and I decided that since you're practically grown up now, though to us you'll always be a child....but yeah, we decided to trust your decision."

Shubman could not believe his ears.

No, he was serious. He actually thought he had heard his mother wrong.

"Mom-?" he said, helplessly.

"So...if Ishan hasn't left yet, you can bring him around for lunch. We'd like to, um, meet him."

"Mom, you've met him millions of times," said Shubman, his heart starting to pound.

"Not-not as your...."

"Boyfriend?" put in Shahneel who being next to him could hear. "Lover? Life partner?"

"Yes, yes," their mother said quickly. "All of those. I mean, if it was your girlfriend, we would have wanted to meet her, so we, uh, figured it's the...same...."

Shubman looked at Shahneel. Ishan looked at both of them, motioning wildly What's happening?

"Okay," said Shubman. "Okay....we'll be there."

"What?" Ishan demanded as soon as he had disconnected. "What on earth is going on?"

"I have no idea," said Shubman blankly.

"You better be prepared, Ish," said Shahneel.