Closed Doors

P r o l o g u e

P r o l o g u e

In a world like this no one could be trusted, betrayal was the national anthem and they sang it as proudly as they could. They did it on a daily basis there's not one day we're things weren't going wrong. You could never tell anyone your name so you went by a stage name. It was as if the sound of your name on another persons lips sounded so bad and foreign. Family turned against family. Nothing will ever be right in the world I live in. Either you were the richest or the poorest no middle class.

I second glanced at the city lights of Paris and took a sharp breath in as everything I thought about turned true. Love wasn't even there anymore rare to find anyways. Life was just so hard. Nothing was fair and nothing will ever be. I stare down at my bleeding wrist and I can't do anything but think is when did this life became so fucked up? My mother was dead, My dear mother someone who I was sure would never leave me, Killed by the sister I was trusted dearly.

The tears that wanted to come evaporated once I pushed them back. My house was barley in any good condition. The racks on my fridge lay empty only a gallon of water. My life consisted of fights and small jobs here and there. I don't trust anyone and I'm sad to say that I don't even trust myself. I miss my dead boyfriend, I miss my dead mom, I miss my dead dad, I miss my other three dead sisters, and I hate to admit it but I miss the betrayal that is my sister. I suck in a breath keeping myself from crying. I had to be strong even if I were alone. There was always people watching and the first time you ever love or trust someone it will kick you in the ass so hard I swear you wouldn't know what to do with your life anymore.

My Chest tightens, as the memories of me and Josh break my skull into tiny little pieces of memory that lay unwanted. Gets hard to breath as I let on the picture of him forever implanted on my brain. My only escape Is when I drug myself to sleep, but tonight I will not

Constantly I wear a mask Constantly feeling afraid of people. I learned how to walk alone not having the best things in life, but even then after all the time it still made me want to hide away in a whole, made me want to cry as I heard my boots stomping on the damp pavement screaming the words of loneliness that everyone in this world seem to suffer from. I'm Worried and praying to God that my monster will not attack me today.

But sometimes I'm at peace when I'm fighting in that ring letting all my memories crash at once and hitting skin imagining it's my sister my horrible sister. I never would want to choose this life for myself. I hate seeing people at pain so much that like tonight I lay crying myself to sleep for letting someone go to the hospital and the worst part, the part I never want to admit to myself is the part were I know deep down that I'm the cause of their pain. I'm always at peace With myself and everyone around Or maybe
It's just another pretense And I wear the mask all over again.