I'll Always Love you - Lip Gallagher

~chapter 10~

When it comes to fight or flight, I always thought I would be the person to fight in a situation like this. To stay and face the problem head on. Yet here I am, fleeing from the Gallagher house in the middle of the night, my lips still burning from the intensity of Lip's kiss.

What the fuck was he thinking? What the fuck am I doing? Why am I running away? He should be the one freezing his ass off and feeling like shit right now. I didn't ask him to kiss me. I've wanted him to for a long time, of course, but he's literally had years to make his move. Why now when I'm finally starting to move on?

I'm so distracted by everything going on in my head that I'm not paying attention to where I'm going. I slip on a rogue patch of ice and fall back, smacking my head on the snow covered sidewalk and letting out a groan of pain. The snow breaks my fall for the most part but I lay there on the ground for what feels like a long time anyway.

How is this what my life has come to?

Just an hour ago I was on a date with a boy that I might be able to eventually care for one day, trying my best not to think about Lip. Now I'm running away from the boy I've always dreamed about because I don't know whether I want to kiss him again or kill him.

Fuck, my life is a disaster.

As I slowly get to my feet I think about where I can go. I can't go back, not now. I could head over to Kev and V's where everyone else is but the possibility of seeing Lip there has me hesitant to back track in that direction. Since I can't go back to my house, I decide to see if I can crash with Mandy tonight.

She opens the front door of the Milkovich house and takes in my pathetic figure standing on the front porch, shivering with falling tears freezing on my face.

"What happened?!" she asks, pulling me inside. "I thought you had a date tonight."

"I did."

"Did Danny do something or-"

I shake my head and allow her to take my coat before leading me over to the couch.

"It wasn't him. Lip- he called me while he was drunk and I thought that something was wrong. When I went back to the house he pulled me under the stairs and... he kissed me. Actually he did more than just kiss me."

"Oh my god," Mandy says. "I totally called it!"

"Mandy!"

I roll my eyes as my best friend does a quick celebration at the fact that she was right before she remembers that I'm upset and quickly focuses back on me.

"Sorry. Uh- is that a bad thing? I thought that's what you've always wanted him to do."

"Not like this!" I protest, my anger at the whole situation soaking into my words. "I wanted him to want me for a good reason, not because he's drunk or to make Karen jealous or because I finally don't want him anymore."

"But you do," she points out.

I let out a half groan, half cry and rest my head in my hands.

"Mandy! You're supposed to be on my side here!"

"I am," she says immediately. "It's just..."

"What?"

"Who cares why? He wants you now. That's good."

"No, it's not."

"Why not?"

"Because what happens when he doesn't want me anymore?" I say, the thing that's been eating me alive finally coming to the surface. "Sure he wants me now, but that's only because I'm with someone else. Lip Gallagher just has to come out on top. When there's no competition anymore he'll go back to seeing me as his friend and leave me just like everyone else!"