Chapter four

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September 14th

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September 14th

I've been thinking about her since Isla and I left Sweets yesterday. There's something so strange about her, not her personally but there's something going on. First, she came into the shop asking about flower deliveries to her place. Then, at sweets when she was getting in her car, she pulled a paper off her front window and the panicked look across her face when she saw it, was something that's been etched in my mind for the past 24 hours.

Is she okay? I don't need to know the details, but I'm just concerned about her.

Ever since having Isla I've been much more aware of the things that women face everyday. I've always known but once she was born, It's been a debilitating anxiety for me. I'm constantly worried something is going to happen to her and I won't be there to help her.

This thing with Ivy looks like a classic case of something like that. The flowers, The fourteen different flower orders that were placed to be delivered to her in the past three weeks. Normally I would assume it was a partner or family member but the panic whenever i've seen her receive something, that just can't be the case. And if it is a partner or family member, something is seriously wrong there.

She said she makes music... Maybe it's a fan or something, but sending stuff to her house? And leaving shit on her car? Maybe that's why she looked so uncomfortable talking about it yesterday?

I could see it on her face when I asked what she did, that's why I changed the topic to that horrifying video of me my mum has. That may have been a mistake because since then I've apparently reminded Isla of the video and she's back to mocking me about it.

She's lucky she's so cute and I love her so much. I'm never safe when she's around. Like, this morning I was making her blueberry pancakes again, and I knocked the milk over on the counter, and said "Oh shit" and while I was cleaning it up I heard a cheeky giggle from behind me and a little "oh shit".

It took everything I had not to laugh at that but I just knew that if I did she would never give up with that. She loves to make people laugh.

I told her that's an adult word and she needs to be older before she can say it. I won't care too much when she's a little older, but she needs to understand when appropriate times to swear are. I cant have her screaming "fuck" In the middle of class or something.

I pick up my phone, and open Instagram, searching Ivy... then I realised I don't even know her last name. A verified account appears, Ivy James? I click on the profile and there she is. Ivy james... that suits her. I look up to the top of her page, she has 2.6 million followers. Oh my god? I didn't expect that. When she said she makes music, I didn't think she would be so popular. For some reason I kind of assumed she was one of those people who write songs and sell them to artists.

I scroll through her posts, she's so pretty. There's some of her at the studio, some of her writing, some of the beach. But once I hit posts from about four months ago, there was a blonde girl that was in most of the photos.

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