Jaiden Oneshot (not satirical)

Jaiden

James's eyes scanned the crowd of the concert. This place was really full- almost as full as he wanted to make Aiden.

"Wow," he muttered to himself. "I really hate BTS."

Suddenly, he was tackled to the ground, faster than Riya's villain arc happened.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT BTS???" Yul screamed at him. Bul was a very big fan of the K-pop group, going as far as asking them to marry him. They all said no, of course. Everyone hates Yul. Probably because he's a twink.

"I said I hate B-" but James was cut off by the sensation of his dick tingling.

"OH MY GOD, MY AIDEN SENSE IS TINGLING!!!"

James rushed out of the room, faster than he had ever ran before, and ran all the way to Canada. He was in the middle of the ocean, but he didn't stop. His Aiden baby needed something, and he was gonna help.

"AIDEN IM HERE WHAT DO YOU NEED????" James's voice was so loud. Like wow, that hurt my ears. Seriously man, shut up.

James turned his gaze to Aiden, who was writhing on the floor in agony, tears streaming down his twinkish face.

"I-I c-can't open th-the pickle jar, senpai..." Aiden cried harder, like the little pussy he was.

James smirked. "Not to worry, Aiden baby, I can open it for you!!" James undid his pants, revealing his ginormous cock. He wrapped it around the pickle jar lid and twisted it open.

Aiden clapped his ass cheeks with glee. "Thank you so much, Daddy!! You're so strong and manly!"

"Of course, baby~" James began to make out with Aiden. They made out on the couch, the table, against the wall, and even on the ceiling!!!

All of a sudden, James felt Aiden's soft lips disappear. Instead, they were replaced by something crumbly and moist.

"OH MY GOD AIDEN! YOURE A TWINKIE!!!! BUT NOT JUST ANY TWINKIE, A CREAMLESS ONE!!"

Aiden simply nodded. "Yes I am. I am now Aiden the UwU Twinkie™"

James looked him up and down, before licking his lips. "Let me sex you, Aiden The UwU Twinkie™. I wanna make you a cream filled Twinkie!!" He smiled hotly.

"No." Aiden The UwU Twinkie™ replied.

Before James could answer, Aiden The UwU Twinkie™ began to ascend through the ceiling. Now he's broken the ceiling!! And the roof!!!! OH MY GOSH HES IN THE AIR?!?!????!!!! HES DEFYYYYYYING GRAAAAAVVVVITYYYYY~

Aiden The UwU Twinkie™ smiled awkwardly before declaring, "I AM NOW AIDEN THE UWU TWINKIE GOD™!!! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!"

James hesitated, and all of a sudden, KAI appeared out of thin air. He seemed to have been unearthed from the ground. He began bowing down before Aiden The UwU Twinkie God™. Kai took out a katana from his ass and commited seppuku for Aiden The UwU Twinkie God™.

James was so turned on, he figured he might as well go for it. However, when he tried to sex Aiden The UwU Twinkie God™, he failed to realize that Aiden The UwU Twinkie God™ was also the sun, as so he burned his member off. Oof, take that L, James. Talk about 0 rizz-

While both James and Kai were lying dead on the floor, Chris Mc-fuckface showed up. "Alright campers," he drawled, not caring that he was standing on two dead people. "For today's challenge, you must come up with a sacrificial ritual to worship Aiden The UwU Twinkie God™. Also, has anyone seen my schizophrenia meds?? Campers..? Chef..? Sasquatch-anakwa?? Aiden The UwU Twinkie God™..?"

Aiden The UwU Twinkie God™ stared down upon Chris Mc-sadist and struck him down with a bolt of lightning made of cream from a Twinkie.

And that, kids, is how I met your mother.