INVISIBLE STRING

1.THE RETURN

Hermione hadn't slept more than a few hours ever since she came back.

She didn't want to say it out loud, that would make it real, but sleeping with Ron by her side had made the nightmares less frequent.

Not that she was at Hogwarts and he was in a flat in London however...

Hermione watched as the sun wandered upwards on the sky, the sunrays dancing around the dust in the room. Shining on the beds that weren't occupied anymore and the empty dressers. She had been playing with her engagement ring, a beautiful ring with a little, shine stone. Just the way Hermione liked it, not too flashy but still pretty and classy.

When Hermione finally got herself to stand up, breakfast was serving for about twenty minutes already.

It was strange to her, how she took the exact same steps she had taken all her life, walked down the same stairs and around the same corners, but she had never felt less like the Hermione she knew all those years ago. It felt like an eternity seperated her and this little girl, exited to learn and desperate to know everything there was to know in the world.

The great hall greeted Hermione with its usual loudness. People talked over each other, some students doing forgotten homework in a hectic, ink spilling over wood and juice being passed around.

She watched out for Ginny. She knew she could always sit down next to the girl and her friends. Ginny had been quick to introduce her to everyone and try to make her feel better.

Hermione felt ashamed she couldn't do the same. Ginny dealed with her grief so much better. She seemed to have moved on and even if Hermione knew this wasn't entirely true, she felt hot shame rush the blood to her cheeks everytime the girl offered some kind of help. Ginny had seemingly lost so much more, why was she so much better at being?

She sat down at the end of the table, farthest away from the teachers. Hermione also felt ashamed looking at them. They tried helping her, some congratulating her for what she had achieved.

Hermione didn't see it.

She couldn't be proud of herself, they had lost way too many. And although the rational part of Hermione's brain knew she couldn't possibly have saved all of them, that it wasn't her fault, the other part told her just exactly how much she should hate herself.

And then there were the voices. The voices she couldn't quite get to shut up. Voices clouding her head like the tune of a long forgotten melody.

She was thinking about them even now, as she was buttering her toast and drinking her morning tea. The sounds in the great hall faded in her mind, mixing with the tunes and making Hermione dizzy. She had had a headache ever since she came back to Hogwarts. It had gotten better and worse, but it had never left her completely.

Stepping into her transfiguration class, Hermione immediately felt some sort of relief. The familiar face of Minerva McGonagall, the only constant in this school. Hermione was happy to see the woman, she had always been one of her favorite teachers.

Apart from Remus Lupin of course, but...

She shook her head, she wouldn't think about her former teacher now. McGonagall greeted the girl with a firm nod of her head, but a small smile playing around her lips.

"Alright Miss Granger?", McGonagall asked when Hermione sat down in the front row directly in front of her desk.

Hermione nodded. "Yes, Professor."

McGonagall saw right through her. But even the promise of talk and free biscuits couldn't lure Hermione out of her room anymore. Either she locked herself up in there all day or she would flee the quietness of her dorm every chance she got, often not even coming back to sleep.