i have always been lustful for love
ever since i can remember,
knocking at my friend's door
pleading that they'd come play,
and in the darkest days of winter
every single year, i'd quake
chattering away like a frantic animal
not blessed with hibernation
and even after my love's inequities
and once the disgust has mellowed
far enough away from disdain
i still ache in its undulating waves
sick, sick, sick with love
a love of love never satisfied
i answered the ringing phone line
and heard your voice and name
i laughed just as i realized
you had no clue who i was
chill and numb as i had become
i felt a drumming song pounding
deep inside the hollow of my chest
like some instinct or a sleeping habit
awoken from the fallen ashes in my core
it makes me ill to suffer it over again
when none of the sweetness remains
and still---tumultuous and reeling---
i hunger for more love, for another fix
to fill me up and spill right out
once i inevitably devour that up too
