Professor Knight

Chapter Fourteen

I'm so thankful that today is a weekend day so no classes. I have a much needed lie in this morning, staying in bed until dinner time. Then I spend the afternoon doing coursework. I'm reading through my writing from when I was in rehabilitation. It makes me feel emotional as it took me back to how I felt during that difficult period in my life. I remember how lonely I it was. The nightmares that came as a result from everything that happened, almost broke me. In fact, they did break me hence why I have to have therapy. I'll forever be grateful to my family for always being there; supporting me and to my siblings who became my only friends after the ones I had, had decided to walk away. Now, I not only have them, but I have Amy, India, my flatmates and Joey. I can't forget Jake, he's been lovely apart from the other day. In some ways, I've never felt happier but on the whole, it has been so hard.
The girls have decided to have a girls night in at the apartment. Me and Amy have invited India to join us. We've ordered pizzas to eat so hopefully they'll be arriving soon. We have music playing and there's fairy lights hung up around the lounge and kitchen area. "It looks so cute and cosy, thank you for inviting me." India hugs me after glancing around the open plan living area.

Amy decided she wanted us all to match so she ordered for us all to wear matching pjs, face masks etcetera. "Oh my god! Amy have you seen these?!" Davina calls from the breakfast bar. Me and India walk over to where she is standing, holding up the straws. I gasp when I look at them closely. They're penis shaped straws. Amy bursts out laughing at her mistake, but I look at her, questioning if it was a mistake or not. I laugh at the straws myself. Amy is busy making cocktails and I go over to her. "Don't worry girly, I'm making you a mock-tail so you don't feel left out. We just need to make sure you don't end up getting them mixed up." I hug her to thank her for being thoughtful.

We're all now matching in our pjs and sitting in the lounge area. We'd already done our face mask so we were just chilling out and chatting. Amy would constantly take pictures and film us. She even got me drinking using those pesky straws! Very classy, not. Haha! I'm sitting watching how everyone is enjoying themselves and I feel blessed to have these girls who have my back. My phone rings. "Oh so that's Joey? He's really cute?!" Callie screeches as she hands me my phone. "Hey Joe, yeah I'm good thanks and you? Oh shut Amy! Sorry I hope you can't hear her, she's shouting inappropriate things hoping you'll hear. What are you up to? Oh okay. Having fun? Yeah that's cool. I'm sorry but the girls are getting a bit tipsy so they're getting louder. Night Joe. Everyone says goodnight. Bye." I feel my face going red with these girls trying to embarrass me. They ask me about what Joey wanted. "He was asking if I was having fun, especially with these straws." I hide my face. They all giggle. "Hey, you never told us about your date with him." Amy scolds me. "It was fun. We just went by the beach to a cafe and then when we finished there, sat on a bench overlooking the water. We chatted just like friends do. Nothing happened." They look shocked. "You didn't kiss him or anything?" Callie asks. "No. Like I said, it wasn't a date. Just two people hanging out. He kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug. That's all." I sit quietly as they all chat amongst themselves. Amy takes hold of my hand and leads me to the breakfast bar. "You still like the first guy you met, don't you?" Reluctantly, I nod. "Why though? I thought you've moved on from him." I quickly glance at the other girls before looking back at Amy. "You can't help who you like. It's been so long since I've been interested in a guy so it's not easy for me to move on. I'm not that experienced with guys so it's harder for me." She pulls me in close to hug me. "Aww honey, I just don't want to see you get hurt. Joey seems to really like you, maybe give him a chance at least. But if not, then that's okay too. Just take your time and don't get pushed into doing anything that you're not ready for." She makes sense. I don't think it's fair to lead Joey on though but I decide to leave the conversation as it is.
A few hours pass and almost everyone else are drunk, India is looking like she's had way too much so I grab a spare cover and pillow from the airing cupboard for her on the sofa. She may as well stay over for the night and I would only worry about someone taking advantage of her while she's in the state she's in. It's been a fun night in with the girls. Once I'm tucked up in my bed, I browse through the social media posts where the girls have uploaded pictures and videos from tonight.

The next day I awaken to the sound of someone vomiting and it makes me feel nauseous just hearing them puke. I reach for my medication and bottle of water to swallow them. When I put the bottle down, I notice one of them straws is there on my bedside cabinet. I pick it up and stare at it. Thoughts of Jordan comes to mind. I wonder what he's like underneath his clothes. I imagine him to being a gentle beast and I close my eyes as I let my fingers explore my body. I've never touched myself in this way before and I'm finding it hard not to let my insecurities get in my way, my sensitive areas seem to enjoy the feeling but then I see the scars as I look down at myself. Why does everything have to be so damn difficult for me? I hate what those guys did to me to rob me of so much. I just want to enjoy exploring and playing with my body like everyone else does. I just want to be like everyone else, simple as.
I'm startled when my phone rings. It's probably Ellie so I talk like I do with her, "hey Ellie, I'm in bed but can I call you back and I love you sis." So when I hear a guy's voice, I'm a little embarrassed especially as I finally look at the screen, telling it's definitely not my sister but it's Joey! "Hi Joe. I'm sorry about that, I thought you were my sister. Oh my god." He laughs, teasingly. "I was about to say I didn't recall having a sex change in my sleep." I giggle. "Also you tell everyone that you're in bed at this time of the day?" He teases. "No, only to my sister, you idiot. Haha!" I only hear his breathing. "So, you're really in bed, babe? Maybe I can come over and join you?" I think my face just turned bright red. "Joey! I'm not even going to respond to that." I laugh. He really is forward. "Anyway, I was thinking maybe you'd like to hang out with me at my place? Just to hang out." He asks. "Okay, when?" I can hear him moving around through the phone. "I'll leave in about half an hour to get you. Send me your thing?" send him my thing I think to myself, huh? "Your postcode. Don't worry I wasn't asking for any nudes. Unless you wanted to, I wouldn't object, ya know. So hurry babe." His confidence never seems to faze me now. "Alright, I'm coming." He chuckles. "That could be arranged." I screech at him in embarrassment, "Joseph! Get your head out of the gutter." Then he laughs more, "guess your head must be in the gutter too babe, you knew exactly what I was referring to. Hmm." I tell him to shush and that I need to get ready. We hang up.