Just Random 2

Vent (I'm sorry you can skip it if you want)

Harry and Louis have been giving me emotional pain lately.

Not by doing anything stupid. Just...being them. By being cute. By having fluffy-looking hair. By smiling. By having fun. By...just...existing.

I'm having an existential crisis because I say all of these things about them I know they'll never get to hear for themselves. Out of my mouth. My own words. I want them to know that I care about them, which is totally and utterly cliche, but it's true. It's sad to think that these people who you care about so much, who want to make you happy, and want to give you joy might never know anything about you.

What's even sadder to me, is that I'll always see a media perspective of them. I hate that. I hate seeing what I don't even know is true because they haven't said it themselves. I want to know the real them. I want to know who they are. Nothing about what the media has said. I want to know Harry and Louis personally so I don't fuck up when I say something to them. I don't want something to slip that isn't true. I want to know who they really are, and what they're really like.

I want to know how I can do something kind without affecting them. I want to do something great. I want to—

Just...

Have them know I care.

Have them know I exist.

Know I'm here.

Waiting for the right moment.

When that moment comes.

I want to be ready.