𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐡| 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗋𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝗋

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞

( 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝗉𝗂𝖽 𝖽𝖺𝗌𝗂𝖾𝗌 )

IT WAS ALWAYS THE SAME route to Cousins beach, everything felt the same to her. Nothing was ever different, nothing ever changed. The Conklin's never changed, until last year, just in time for the new summer vacation.

And it's not like the excitement wasn't the same, because it always is. Cousins was their home away from home, an escape from reality. It was like a pause before they had to go back to their real lives and back to school. Back to that house where everything bad went.

Margaret hated her house. Hated the living room where the family-fun-times felt forced, hated the stairs and how much noise they made, hated the kitchen and how it held the screams and arguments her parents had. What she hated most was her bedroom.

Margaret hated everything in it. Hated the daises on her dresser, hated the way the carpet felt under her feet, hated how her bedsheets felt itchy and uncomfortable. She absolutely hated how John would walk into her room and talk to her. Most dads would ask about their day and call them kiddo, maybe even throw in a joke about how their younger brother said something stupid. Not John. No. Not since she caught him cheating.

John, he used to do those things. Now when he did, it was forced and Margaret wasn't dense. She knew why he was really there, knew why he'd make small talk, only for it to turn into an interrogation, he claimed he wasn't doing.

But it isn't until that morning, that day when Belly comes in, knocking her door down and waking Margaret up does she finally feel a little weight off her shoulders. She felt like she could breathe a little, like breaking the water surface, finally getting that fresh air before being pulled down again.

AUGUST 2020

Margaret was staring out her window that night, like always, looking at the moon, the sky, the way everything was so still. But it wasn't quiet, at least not inside her mind.

Margaret wondered how she got to this point and how she managed to even know what she knew. It felt like it happened yesterday when she found out. When she first saw her father kiss a women who wasn't her mother. When she first saw how he turned his head and saw her, with shock, sadness, and confusion written across her face.

Margaret remembers how at night, he came to her room and asked her, begged her, to not say a word to Laurel, to keep it a secret. Margaret nodded her head as she said she would. A secret.

But she could hardly look at him anymore, let alone be comfortable being in the same room as him. How could he possible ask to keep the cheating a secret? To ask her of all people.

Margaret felt like she was going insane, it was only a few weeks since she saw it happen, and she hasn't told anyone. No one knew. Not even Steven, not even Belly, not even her mom.

And it's not like she could tell her siblings, Margaret was the oldest, the first Conklin to be born. She had a duty to protect them, to not hurt them, to keep them safe. She had to do that.

Margaret looked away from the moon as she heard her door open with a knock. She saw how her dad walking in her room with an awkward smile.

"Just wanted to see how you were doing" John said as he stood by her door. Margaret didn't say a word. He cleared his throat as he looked at the window she stood next to. "Looking out at the moon again?"

"Yeah, it's pretty out" Margaret mumbled as she looked down at her hands, fiddling with them. She heard her dad chuckle as he shook his head.

"You're a lot like your mother" He said and Margaret looked uo at him, but he wasn't staring at her, but at her window. "She liked looking out to the moon too, always said how pretty it was"