bsd crackshots

A Day at the Café

The four Hunting Dogs, excluding Fukuchi because he had an important meeting to attend to, arrived at the café. They all took their seats and began to decide what to eat.

"Tetcho, if you'd mind?"

Tetcho immediately reads out all of the menu's dishes to Jouno.

Not too long after placing their orders, the food arrives.

Before the plate even touches the surface of the table, Tetcho tears his toast up into smaller pieces and dips each one into Teruko's bowl of okayu, ignoring the squeaky complaints from the girl.

"Why do you have to eat so weirdly?" Jouno comments with a scowl.

"Since when do you pay close attention to my eating habits?"

"I don't. But that's so disgusting it's hard not to acknowledge."

Tachihara rolls his eyes. It gets tiring always having to hear the two bicker about random things. Part of him wonders what the Black Lizards are up to...

Suddenly, the table shakes, causing the cutlery, plates, and glasses to clatter against each other, spilling a bit of water in the process.

"What are you doing now!?" Jouno exclaims, exasperated and sick of his partner's stupid behaviour.

"Stabbing the egg yolk." the brunet replies bluntly.

"Well, could you stop it? The strength of your force is rocking the entire table." he grumbles, furrowing his brows. It is obvious that he is becoming increasingly frustrated with Tetcho's antics.

"Almost done," he responds, giving the centre of the egg one last jab until a gooey yellow fluid seeps out of the punctured hole.

Sighing, Jouno delivers one of his snarky remarks, "First it was the soy sauce latte, and now this..."

Tetcho stares at his food intently for a solid minute before raising his hand to call for a waiter.

A few minutes later, a red-haired former Guild member delivers his drink. Lucy promptly huffs and trots away.

"Why a mango smoothie?" Tachihara questions, giving Tetcho a glance.

"Because I felt like the meal would be incomplete without one." the strongest Hunting Dog returns matter-of-factly.

He pours the smoothie onto his plate, swirling it around into the yolk with his fork. He grabs the straw and sucks up what's left of his meal.

"What the actual fuck." Jouno simply says, his entire expression blank.

"Oh, sorry. Did you want some?"

Jouno doesn't have to see to be able to recognise the dumb smirk that he absolutely knows is on Tetcho's face. The teasing tone of voice says enough.

"No! It smells like shit!"

Jouno excuses himself, standing up abruptly and slamming his chair back into the table.

"I genuinely hate you with every particle of my being. I'm leaving."

With that, he walks towards the entrance and out of the building.

"So, does that I mean I get the rest of Jouno's food?" Teruko pipes up, a wide grin spreading across her face.

"I guess so." Tachihara says, shrugging his shoulders.

...

"What was all that noise downstairs?" Kenji asks everybody in the agency building.

"Oh no! What if it's the Port Mafia's doing?" the weretiger yells worriedly.

"According to my deduction, we have a few visitors downstairs. They mean no harm." the genius detective murmurs through a mouthful of chocolate-flavoured Pocky. Shortly after, he continues to flip through Poe's newest mystery novel.

A certain suicidal maniac slips his headphones off and chirps, "Don't worry Atsushi-kun! It'll just be a minor disturbance. We can deal with it."

Kunikida hums, scribbling a few things in his notebook. In the background, a scream echoes throughout the agency, followed by, "It'll only hurt for a second!"

The scream sounds an awful lot like Jun'ichiro...

Oh, it's just Yosano. Everyone internally sighs in relief.

...

"If I may ask, what excuse did you give to your subordinates?" the dark-haired Russian queries from across the table. His face is as emotionless as ever.

"I understand your concern, but I can assure you that they will never discover our plans," Kamui explains, "After all, you were the one who wrote inside of the page, yes?"

Fyodor raises his eyebrows. "You are correct. But where is your squad as of now?"

"I'm not sure how that is relevant to this meeting, but if you really insist on knowing, they are currently at the café below the Armed Detective Agency." Fukuchi snaps.

Sigma flinches at the way his persona changes in just an instant. He turns to look at Fyodor, who is completely composed as if the leader's outburst had no effect on him.

The Russian says, "Good. That was exactly what I wanted to hear."

"Dostoevsky, do you happen to know where Gogol is? He's late to the discussion."

About a second later, the papers on the desks swirl around before scattering to the floor; in the centre of the room stands the jester. He does a little twirl and hops over to his best friend, revealing one of his shit-eating grins.

"Why, hello there, Fedya! What a wonderful day to see your face!"

Fyodor only nods in response.

Using one hand, Nikolai waves, while the other disappears into his white cape. It appears beside Sigma's arm to eagerly shake his hand despite the grimace appearing on the casino manager's face. "It's been a while!"

"Uh huh, could you please let go now..?"

"Of course!"

Nikolai's attention is finally directed to Fukuchi. "Good day to you!" he shouts gleefully, curtsying in front of the leader.

"Now, it's quiz time! Why didn't I arrive earlier?"

Silence.

"It's because I found this amazing specimen!" the Ukrainian answers, pulling a dead rat out of his cape. He's dangling it by the tail, swinging it around like a pendulum. The smell of rotting skin is so revolting that Sigma screws his face up in disgust and covers his nose.

Fyodor looks absolutely horrified at this. "Kolya, is that... Volodya!?"

"Huh, I wondered where he went this morning when I went to feed him..." Nikolai murmurs to himself.

"Gogol, sit down. I have something important to show you all." Fukuchi demands.

Nikolai obeys, and the leader of the Decay of Angels hauls a coffin into the room.

"This is Bram Stoker." he introduces, opening the lid.

Inside is a torso and a head of long grey locks. Red eyes open to glare at whoever is foolish enough to open his coffin. "How dare you interrupt my slumber, insolent halfwit."

Nikolai giggles, and Fyodor seems to be amused.

"Oh shut up, you're going to listen to our plan whether you want to or not." he threatens.