Just For A Little While

13

ᘏ𝚂𝚊𝚖ᘏ

There's no fucking way he just said that. I heard him wrong. He was stammering and I just heard him wrong.

Did I?

Elliot huffs, it comes out more like a whimper. "Listen," He finally looks at me, but it's for about half a second. I watch the color in his face slowly start to change, going pink from complete embarrassment. "Sam." He tries.

"You wondered what?" I ask him again.

He frowns. "You said you wouldn't be mad."

"No—Say it again. I don't think I heard you."

Elliot sinks back, biting the inside of his cheek. "I wondered what it'd be like to kiss you." He quietly repeats.

Yep. I definitely heard him right.

Elliot sighs deeply. "Listen," He begins again. "It was when I first started." He lifts his hand to pinch his nose bridge. "And it was only for a second. Like, a split second." He lifts his hand from his nose bridge and drops his palm on the top of his head. "And I haven't thought much about it since."

"'Much about it'?" I repeat. "So, you've thought about it since then multiple times?"

Elliot slowly shrugs. "A little bit." He mutters. "But it's always, like, this one question that pops up for about two seconds and then it's gone." He quickly assures, like that makes it any better.

I don't even know what to say about it. I've never been told that before. Not even by a boyfriend. He thinks about what it'd be like to kiss me? Why?

"Sam, I tried to warn you. It's super weird." Elliot cringes, the blush reaching all the way up to the tips of his ears and down his neck. "Sam, please don't be mad. You said you wouldn't, remember?"

"I'm not mad." I assure her on a heavy sigh. "Okay? I'm just..." I trail off and slowly shake my head. "Wow. You seriously think about shit like that." I mumble, blinking a few times.

Elliot sinks shamefully. "It's not intentional if that's any...consolation." He mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. His wrist is so close to his face that it shows how red his face has gone, embarrassed completely. Maybe I should've let him drop it.

I take a moment to process that. "Okay." I breathe, accepting it. It'd be unfair to be mad at him since I literally made him say it. Besides, I promised. So, I snort quietly and shake my head at him with a smile. "Such a creep, Hightower." I scoff, teasing him like I would if he'd said anything else.

He scoffs quietly. "It's not intentional." He repeats, weakly defending himself.

I nod and look away, still processing. "Okay, Hightower." I accept. "Well," I mumble a random word, just to fill the deafening silence. No one knows what to do. "How curious about it are you?" I inquire. "You say it goes away within two seconds, but how often do you think it over?"

Elliot frowns at the question. "This is embarrassing enough, Sam. Please stop with the teasing."

"I'm not teasing you." I assure. It's hard to talk to him without at least a little teasing, but I try to keep it to myself. "How curious are you?"

Elliot hesitates, still unsure. "Very." He eventually replies. "And I don't know why." He adds, genuine. "Seriously. I know why all the other questions pop up." He insists. "I'm just super curious about you but..." He shakes his head slowly.

"Does it bother you?"

"A little." He nods, rolling his shoulders after he answers. "But I just ignore it, mostly. It's just weird and..." He trails off.