Damian X Anya Stories [SpyxFamily Fanfic]

Why? part 9

Joy was meaningless in his father's eyes. Love was a weakness. Peace was never a good sign because it was a lie. Damage and destruction should be everywhere. Blood should be shed and War should be settled...

Unbeknownst to him, those were his Father's thoughts, his father's real intentions. Unfortunately, he was clueless of the fact that he was meant to be his father's victim that he was meant to suffer according to The Fearsome Donovan Desmond.

Rough childhood he must admit. But will he escape it? Will he stand to his father one day and fight for his rights?

•°•°•

DA M I A N

I didn't know what to do at that very moment. What Demetrius had just said was a real bomb. I didn't know how to feel about it. A mix of emotions enraged inside my chest; anger, betrayal, humiliation, sorrow and shock... his words, his speech, all this was plotted beforehand. I was certain. Telling my father about how I met Anya, how I fell for her with such a glint of amusement in his eyes and this devilish smirk that he had put on his face, he was no doubt enjoying this.

I found myself wondering. Was he really my brother? Has he ever loved me or considered me as a member of his family? I knew that siblings tend to fight sometimes, even tell each other mean things. But I didn't expect him to enjoy putting me in such a situation. Not like my father was going to laugh this off. No. He made this on purpose knowing that our father will disapprove of this, knowing that he will stop me from seeing Anya, again. It hurts a lot when you realize that no one will ever be by your side, no one will ever cherish having you as a sibling, as his child.

I was in my room, on my bed curling myself onto a ball. My legs were pressing tightly on my chest as I held my head between my hands and sobbed... Warm tears were running down my cheeks, a tightening in my heart made me choke within my cries. I knew from the start that returning home was such a bad idea. I knew that being among these people was worse than being among the monsters. I tried to forget about what I had just survived. I tried so hard. But to no avail, as his words were never going to leave me alone. They kept resonating in my head like a broken stereo player.

"Are you expecting me to allow this relationship? If so, know that you've been delusional. Wake up kid, because this was all a dream. Tomorrow you're leaving Ostania. And you'll never see this girl again. Such a shame you haven't said goodbye."

I felt broken. Hearing him saying these words made me feel suffocated. It was as if he was pressing his shoes on my chest. He was pressing hard and all I could have done was struggling to breath. Disallowing me from seeing Anya once again was cruel. Announcing my departure was like pressing a sharp knife through my heart.

Not only am I disallowed from meeting her, but worse. I am obliged to leave the city where I grew up in and where I first met Anya in. It was as if he was attempting to coffin me into a box and send me to a deserted island where I'll never be able to escape and return home. He was cutting every bound that had been founded between me and this angelic creature that saved my life. He was hitting me on the psychological level. Break me down and deprive me from everything I loved.

I was mad. Mad at my father who forced me to leave. Mad at my brother who plotted the whole thing. And mad at myself. Yeah, at myself.

Mad, because I remained silent and never dared to open my damn mouth to object to this decision during the whole lunch meeting. I was mentally enraged with fury, cursing their cruel existence. But all I did and they saw was me shaking from fear and avoiding their piercing gaze. I was a pathetic puppet in their hands. I was shockingly obedient when they sent me out of the room.

My legs were reacting against me. It was as if my whole body was betraying me. My mind was screaming for me to revolt, to show them that I don't care about what they say or what they order me to do. It was screaming for me to rebel, to leave the house and go find Anya. However, my muscles were hard as stone and surprisingly, my tongue felt heavy in my dry mouth. I was conflicted. And obviously my body was the winner in this battle. I found myself hurrying up the stairs and storming into my room. I was running for a shield because I was a coward.

At least I managed to hold my tears till I reached upstairs...

•°•°•

The next morning when I woke up I was starving. I'd  barely touched my plate when they both started questioning me about Anya.  I lost my appetite and locked myself in my room since lunch and never dared showing up for dinner. Not like they're expecting seeing me after that. They were surely glad that they would finally get rid of my existence.

If you never wanted having me as a child why bother and give birth to me in the first place.

I was hardly able to hold my tears and left them fall down. The pain that I was feeling. I just couldn't handle this anymore. The fact of leaving everyone behind was worse than being dead. At least they'll be the only ones suffering when I'm gone. I didn't want to never see my friends, my classmates, my teachers and  her... it was unfair... because I didn't deserve this.

It wasn't karma, it was the faceless parent that gave birth to me. The faceless parent that endured seven years of having me and then decided it was time to kick me out.

I removed the blanket and headed to the bathroom. I looked at my reflexion and found dark bags surrounding my eyes. I hadn't slept yesterday and barely got to rest a bit as I was running from one nightmare to another. I recalled waking up in the middle of the night panting and having my pajama soaked with sweat.

People in black were hunting me and I was running helplessly trying to find somewhere to hide in, but to no avail. Their devilish laughter was sending chills down my spine. I was shaking from fear, my heart was pounding and I was breathing so fast. I'd never been in such a terrifying dream before. And recalling its events had done nothing but increasing my nervousness.

I splashed my face with cold water and tried to calm down. There's no use in being all shaky because that won't change things. My destiny had been already decided and I had no hand in it now.

Maybe leaving Ostania wouldn't be that bad. It's true that I won't be able to see her and them. But I'll be able to return once I grow up. When I turn eighteen, I'll be able to do whatever I want. He will have no say in what I decide. I'll be a grown up man and I can cross whatever path I chose. Yet, I'll be leaving without telling her anything, without saying goodbye.

And here goes my attempt to lighten up the mood.

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END OF CHAPTER IX