Poems of Poems

With You (WARNING TRIGGERS: VIOLENCE, SUICIDE)

As we walked together in the late evening, surrounded by darkness

Your hostile demeanor caused my sorrow

That look in your eyes showed just how much you despised me

I couldn't think about anything else but how much I now hated you

..how much I thought I hated you

And I said it, knowing the reaction it would cause out of you

I hate you!

Our dispute caused addition darkness that will change my life forever

What if we were happy?

What if I told you I loved you instead?

What if I had just apologized and let it go?

As I write this my heart burns

I'm sorry

I'm so sorry

If only I knew that we weren't really alone

I can't help but think about how those additional eyes watched us argue

Waiting for the perfect opportunity to end the argument forever

As he had the gun pointed to my head I saw a shift

A change

In your eyes

The same eyes that showed they despised me now showed that you would do anything

For me

My body stilled

I was frozen from shock

It's okay I remember you whispering that to me

A tear fell from my eyes as I remember how much you used to tell me that when we were younger

When I was scared of the dark

When I believed a monster was under my bed

When I had the worst nightmares

It's okay little one, it's going to be okay

Never would I have guessed that the words that made me overcome my darkest fears were also the last words you said before my biggest fear happened

The eyes of the unknown man were hungry

Hungry to take whatever we could give

Hungry to hear our fear

Hungry to ...

Hungry.

To take a life.

It should have been me

You knew it should have been me

As he pointed the gun to my head you rushed to be my shield without a second thought

Your arm wrapped around my neck as your chin rested on my head and your other hand was place on my head as you tightly closed your eyes

The same hug you gave me during my first heartbreak

The same hug you gave me to comfort me

Your tight grip proved how scared you were of letting me go

And in the split second my biggest fear came true as your grip loosened

Covered in your blood that spilled from your heart

I screamed

Please. No please. Stay up okay. Stay up!

I begged you

Begged you to live

My cry was ear splitting

As your corpse fell to the ground I broke

My heart died with yours

I love you

I'm not mad at you

I don't hate you

I...

I can't live without you

I said those words with a broken voice knowing that you could no longer hear me

Since you left me I've felt lost

I feel dead

So as I stand on the edge of this building

I feel something I haven't felt in a long time

Happiness

Turning around as I lean on one foot backwards

One foot at a time leaving the steady surface

As the winds pressure makes it hard to breathe and the adrenaline causing me to hear my heart in my ears

As I realize that this is it, the only thing that's on my mind is

You

Seconds from being with you

And when I'm finally with you, you will never hear the end of

I wasn't angry with you

I don't hate you

I'm sorry

Now that I'll finally be with you, I'll get to say

I Love You.

.