Too Dense To Notice

Prologue

Platonic Soulmates

Have you ever noticed how certain things always appear in pairs?

Earphones, a drum stick, and socks are always found together. You can use it without the other pair, but does it feel odd? Isn't it strange? It is for me...

When one is missing, the other feels void.

Magkakilala na ata kami ni Jino simula palang nang malaman ng mga nanay namin na buntis sila. Naglihi pa nga sila sa parehong pagkain, Siopao. Sakto pang pareho naming paborito 'yon ni Aji. Parang may koneksyon talaga kami simula nang nasa sinapupunan palang ng mga nanay namin. Kahit saan at kahit kailan, we were inseparable. Magkasama kami kahit sa pagligo noon. Pati na rin kahit sa pagsemplang ng bike namin, sa pagligo sa ulan, sa pagtakbo dahil sa aso, sa pagiging tanga ko ay kasama ko pa rin siya. Natatakot ako na baka hanggang sa kamatayan ko ay sumama siya. Hindi naman pupwede 'yon. Sana lang ay 'wag niyang maisip.

Because I know him better than anybody else does. Alam kong may mga kaya siyang gawin na hindi mo na maiisip pa. Ginawa niya na 'yon noong nagka-problema ako, e. He would go to great lengths for something he values.

Aji—he was someone that I could be with through my ups and downs. He was someone who could calm me down whenever I panicked. He was someone who understood me when even I couldn't understand myself. He was willing to listen to me, even if I was talking nonsense. He was willing to save me even if I was drowning in a deep, dark ocean. And despite my flaws and imperfections, he was willing to love me unconditionally. If I had to define him, I'd have to write a whole essay just to express how much I valued him as my best friend.

What is your connection to Jino? That is something I am frequently questioned about. When you look at it, it appears to be a fairly simple question to answer. Friends. We are, indeed, friends. But why am I looking for another answer? Why? Is our relationship defined by another label? We're just friends, after all.

Kaya ang hirap din kapag tinatanong ako kung ano ang meron sa aming dalawa. Wala rin naman akong maisagot kahit ang simple-simple lang naman ng sagot sa tanong na 'yon.

Oo, magkaibigan lang kami.

'Lang' at 'just'? Bakit may gano'n? Parang nanghihinayang lang.

“Sana magkaklase tayo,” tiningnan niya ako habang puno ang bibig dahil sa kinakaing pakwan. Nasa rooftop kami ng bahay namin, kumakain ng pakwan. It was almost the end of summer. Malapit na naman ang balik-eskwela.

“Sana hindi,” pang-aasar ko. Ang saya niyang asarin, makakakuha ka talaga ng nakakatawang reaksyon. His face was just so hilarious when I teased him, he look like a black cat.

“Hindi pala, ah...” I faced him, and to my horror—he was getting ready to use his mouth to shoot watermelon seeds into my face.

Siraulo talaga!

“Jino! Humanda ka sa 'kin!” Tinanggal ko pa ang mga dumikit na buto sa mukha ko. Nakakadiri, ah! Nanlilisik ang mata kong tumingin kay Aji! He was already running around while laughing and pointing his index finger at me.

Naghabulan kami hanggang sa mapagod. Dahil sporty ang lalaki ay wala talaga akong tyansang mahabol siya, eto tuloy ako ngayon, pawis na pawis at hingal na hingal pa.

“Naisahan kita,” napagod siya habang hihingal-hingal na lumapit pero may distansya pa rin dahil natatakot na baka may gawin ako.

“Lapit ka rito. Pupunasan ko pawis mo,” pagyaya ko.

“Ih! Ayoko nga! May balak kang gawin, e!” pang-aakusa niya. Grabe naman, ano tingin niya sa akin mahilig bumawi?

Oo, tama ang hula niya dahil babawian ko talaga siya. 'Wag lang talaga siyang lalapit! Patay ang patilya niya sa 'kin.

“Parang tanga! Hindi naman kita aanuhin!” Tiningnan ko siya nang masama at nagkamot naman ng ulo ang lalaki.

“Sige na nga!”

Saktong pagkalapit niya ay dahan-dahan ko siyang pinunasan at pasimpleng hinigit ang patilya niya. Napadaing naman siya sa sakit.

O, ano ka ngayon? Buga pa ng buto sa mukha ko.

“A-aray! Adriana! 'Yung patilya ko!”

“Ano? Mangbubuga ka pa?”

“H-hindi na! Promise! Peksman!”

Maybe we're platonic soulmates.

We have this strong bond. We complement each other. We understand each other. And we fill each other's souls.

Maybe that's all it takes to understand who he is to me and who I am to him.

Sapat na siguro 'yon.