I wish I was you **ON HOLD**

Chapter 2 - First day

"Well we'll leave you to it then. Give us a hollar if you need anything." I closed the door and Lisa and I headed down stairs. I glanced over at Lisa and she gave me a smile.

The next day:

Rhaina's POV:

I woke up at 6 AM on the dot the next morning. Not because of the jet lag but because it was a routine. Engrained in me since I was 6. 

Wake up at 6, meditate, go on a run.

Every.

Single.

Morning.

It didn't matter if I was tired, sore, sick, or even injured. It didn't matter if I had a game that day, if I only had training that day. I hadn't missed a single day. I don't think I could sleep past 6 even if I tried.

As I got ready I tried to be as quiet as possible as neither Viv nor Lisa were awake. I decided it would be smart to write a note telling them that I was on a run so not to worry them if they woke up before I got back. I didn't really know where I was going but just decided to wing it and see where I took myself. 

I stepped out into the chilly morning air. The sun just coming up. I started with a slow jog just heading down the street. Most people run while listening to music but I don't. I like to listen to my breath, there's something settling about it. I know that without my father here I don't have to do this anymore but I like it. It helps me just focus on the simple things, breathing, blinking, moving. It helps me forget about anything that's going on. 

Since a young age I've been taught not to show too much emotion, to stay calm under pressure, not get nervous. In a way these things are the reason why I've gotten so good. Despite being taught all of these things, I still feel really nervous about going to training today. What if the girls don't like me? What if the staff don't like me? What if I'm too bad? I try to shut out all of these thoughts and focus on the running. I'm not supposed to think of these when I'm running.

Just run.

Breath.

Blink.

One step in front of the other. 

Breath.

Blink.

Move.

Repeat.

I returned a little after 7, I hadn't expected anyone to be awake yet as training today was from 9 but when I walked through the door I saw Viv in the kitchen making some eggs. She looked up at me and smiled. "Early riser?" I nodded. "Well, I'm making some breakfast if you want, I don't know what you like to eat but I'm making some eggs and waffles."

"Oh thank you, but I usually don't eat much in the mornings usually just a protein shake or smoothie." I replied.

"Oh we have some protein mix if you want some." Viv said heading to the pantry. She brought out a bag. "Here how about I make you some!"

"That would be great! Thank you! I'm going to take a little shower first if that's okay." I said and headed upstairs.

I tried to block out all of my worrying negative thoughts as the cold water trickled down my body. I knew that I would have to be at the top of my game today. My father had always taught me that first impressions were the only impressions that people would have of you, and that it if people had a bad first impression of you it would be hard to change their mind about you. 

I got out of the shower, put on the Arsenal training kit and a Arsenal hoodie on top. London was quite chilly compared to North Carolina where the sun was blazing from sun up to sun down. I headed down stairs and saw Lisa and Viv sitting at the counter eating some breakfast.