What We Do etc: "The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth

The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth...Part V...

She offers coy smile.

"You know...It would make a nice documentary... 'Laszlo and Nadja, Underworld Heroes'...Maybe even a TV show? Eat ya heart out, Buffy!!! Next time maybe you'll save Spike, instead of leaving him to roast!" cries, softly. "That was awful. I could never do that to Laszlo, especially if he got his soul back for me?!"

"Which is exactly what he means to do!" gleeful smile. "Though, naturally, I had to do it first." Frown... "Though he had no doll to run into..."

"And of course, restored us'd devote ourselves to helping..." Pantomining staking... "Our fellow sufferers...And I guess helping some get Redemption City." Yeah, yeah...Gotta do the atonement thing, thanks demonic halves, really. "I think the folks upstairs...Powers that Be...Whatever...Send guides to find such and help them find....Heroes." beam. "Like us. Heck, we did. Actually, let me tell you...Oh...?" her face falls a bit, just a bit miffed.

"Your other guys are talking to ghost Laszlo and crew right now, eh? So, you know about Van Helsing and Dracula and all that? Great." Sigh. Then on reflection, eager smile...

"But I can give you the whole story, from the woman's perspective..." shrewd nod, raising finger.

"I tell ya...I've been in the entertainment business, cookie and I know. This angle is gonna sell your documentary like pancakes to the starving...If they had cash."

"So, when our souls were summoned earlier..." She begins.

"I told you." Annoyance at the interruption of a question... "Nandor's soul's found happiness in the Ether with his horse."

...

"Anyway, that dark night, hovering round this our/their Residence..." Human souled Nadja continues. "Our Ghosts chained to their darker selves, lamenting their crimes. What? Oh...Like this... 'Oh, wurra, wurra, wurra, woe is us, the horror, oh the horror' that sort of thing but in Greek in my case. Yeah, a Greek chorus. Very funny." Glare.

"Anyway..." waves hand.

"Gotta tell you, it is really neat to have a full-sized human hand to wave again." She beams, shaking hand.

"...For the first time we three manifested visually and our counterparts became aware of us. And we got on surprisingly well, given they were demonic essences spawned from the Darkness. I really felt a connection with Nadja the demon essence, and the same for Laszlo. Nandor, the soul, just wanted to apologize to his horse for eating him, in his human life. He did not, I might add, apologize to me for burning my village. Though to be fair that was centuries ago. Fine."

"So...Laszlo Ghost form and I had long been in psychic communication...He wrote me such nice love poems, so lovely, so vibrantly pornographic..." rolling eyes lavishously, fond beam. "But God, were we anxious to get it on...Though we did of course get sensations from Laszlo and Nadja..."

Cut to 1800s shot of Laszlo and Nadja getting it on in English village near corpse of milkmaid...Ghosts of Nadja and Laszlo eagerly hovering, looks of ecstasy...

"Funny story there...Laszlo enthralled the milkmaid and I...I mean Nadja the demonic one...But in a way, me too...Got terribly jealous, 'cause the poor thing got all dewy over Laszlo's calling her a 'rustic goddess' or something and telling her he'd sweep her away to his country estate...That sort of crap men feed gullible women...But it only worked on me, once...Unfortunately, with a vampire...When his job was simply to obtain the night's meal. Well, I...Nadja the demonic essence...Really got steamed, listening from her bat form on hiding place. Angry as well as horny...Me, I mainly got horny...And burst in on them before he had struck."