The Trials Of A Binary Star

The Ghost

"Ben please, wake up."

In the silence left behind by her soft plea, Ben felt his heart twist with an agony he'd never known. The room around them, the machines, droids, and bacta tank faded, there was only Rey in his eyes. The girl he loved had her forehead pressed to the tank where his unconscious body floated like a corpse. Even to Ben's spectral eyes, the sight was gruesome at best. He looked awful—deathly pale, injured, and looking damn near like a Kel Dorian thanks to the respirator on his face. Ben grimaced and looked back at Rey. What was she thinking? It was so strange to be cut off from her like this. He couldn't sense her golden aura, or feel her emotions and thoughts flood into him like a river. There was nothing, nothing but Rey's sorrow and his own powerlessness. The Force was cruel.

When Ben had been placed in the bacta tank several days ago, he had woken to find himself like a ghost, blue like the sky, and tethered to the space around his body. No one could hear or see him. Ben knew he wasn't dead but he wasn't alive either. He was stranded. Stuck. Too tormented to move on and too much of a coward to wake up. Beside him, Rey let out a small sob and tears spilled down her high cheekbones in rivulets. She had never looked so forlorn. Normally she was a gold enshrouded, spunky-spirited woman but now Rey was reduced to a weeping, young girl.

"Rey..." Ben whispered, a ravaged choke leaving his trembling lips. Guilt and shame took turns tearing him to shreds. This was his doing, he had done this to her. Ben didn't know how much more of this he could take. Once again he was struck by what a perfect hell the Force had created for him, this was his true punishment: to watch her suffer because of him.

With a sad hiccup, Rey's eyes opened and she looked up at his body, her hazel orbs bloodshot. Ben forced himself to look deeply into her gaze, deeper than he ever had before. Her eyes were a swirl of brown, blue, and gray as if a stormy ocean was contained within her irises. He'd never noticed how beautiful they were before now. But suddenly Ben saw something change within them, a crushing influx of emotion. Before he could analyze it Rey turned around and pressed her back to the tank. Her face twisted with sorrow as a single, wrenching sob left her mouth.

"Rey, please." Ben choked, desperately bringing his hands to either side of Rey's face. But it was useless. He felt nothing. He couldn't feel her. Rey slid down the tank and Ben watched as she drifted straight through his fingers. He lowered himself down, matching Rey's descent, his quivering hand reaching for her like a child.

"No sweetheart, it's alright. I'm here, I'm right here. Rey, please it's okay." Ben wept.
Rey hit the floor and Ben dropped to his knees. He was breaking, cracks and fissures overtaking his soul like he was made of brittle stone. She lifted her knees and buried her head into them as loud, unrestrained sobs forced their way out of her body. Finally, Ben let his arms fall uselessly to the side and bowed his head under the weight of his misery. All he could do was watch—watch and shatter.

"Rey." He sobbed. "Rey, I'm sorry."

Rey and Ben sat there on the floor, one corporeal, one immaterial, and they wept. All that could be heard from either plane was the sound of their gasps and sobs. They carried on that way for several minutes, their tears felt infinite, as did their pain, until finally, Rey began to quiet. Ben dragged his head up to see her legs fall to the floor and her eyes flutter shut. Shallow, sleepy breaths slipped from her parted lips and he knew she was asleep.
Ben covered his face with his hands and let out a tortured groan. "Damn it, damn it."

"So, are you going to keep deliberating?" A voice asked.

Ben sobbed again and kept his hands over his eyes, unable to answer or look up at the owner of the voice.

"The girl loves you, Ben, why are you hesitating?" It tried again.

Ben lowered his hands to see a figure manifest in his peripheral vision. It was another ghost. But Ben said nothing, he couldn't find the words. He shook his head in defeat, his eyes downcast. "I'm just going to hurt her. I'm doing it already."