Outsider

I woke up with the noises of pens and notebooks falling on top of each other, I realised my mother is looking for something in my room she looked worried and concerned. She moves around my room looking into my bag she finds something she goes up to my dad.

I pretend to be asleep but 5 minutes later my dad calls me "Averly dear can you please come up" I realise they have my Diary with them and the pills I was going to take for my death. Then I realise it came as a shock to me my mind was thinking a million things but my heart it just was thinking I took all those pills so why wasn't I dead yet? 

I bolted towards my room. My heart felt like it was going to burst i felt like nothing i was numb again i realised that Ally had told my parents what i was going to do and they removed the pills which is why my mother looked at me like i was going to do something to myself but i was so mad i hadn't been hearing my dad's voice then everything came to me so blurry i thought i was about to die i couldn't breathe i couldn't see anything then i hear my dad's voice.  

"Stay with me Aves you're gonna be okay" In a steady and relaxed manner i didn't know how he was so confident I could die any moment if I wanted to i began sweating my lungs get more heavier as if i am inhaling sulphur. At that moment a voice behind my head whispers "Let it go. You're parents deserve better your friends deserve better you need to learn to let go."A part of me wanted to do that so badly but the other part of me think all the good times with my friends with my family with everyone.My parents had been through this once i wasn't going to let that happen again. I was going to survive but the voice in my head it keeps saying. "You've hurt your parents enough why are you still hurting them". That was the last thing i heard before i passed out and my heart felt so relieved. The voice in my head was "Yes, you have done the right thing, no more doctors, no more pills, no more disappointing people "