Froststar's Destiny

Chapter Twenty-three

Wasn't sure if she wanted to live anymore.

She slumped even as she braced the pain, wondering if it was worth it to drop dead on the ground and never see the sparks of life again. She'd killed so many, and she didn't know if she'd done enough to redeem herself yet. Would she end up in the Dark Forest? Who was she leaving behind, anyway? If Skyfeather was a fraud, then she had nobody. Hickorysnarl had siblings, besides, she was probably too busy despising her new name to care about her mentor dying.

Frostwind knew they weren't heartless cats but life seemed to be drawing to an end. A final end to all the pain and suffering, the death, the gore. The triumph over enemies, never to be experienced again, and that was a good thing. She'd either live once more as a happy StarClan cat or be banished to the Dark Forest forever.

But she wasn't ready for that. Monster as she was, she didn't want to live eternally remembered as a murderer. She had time to redeem herself to StarClan, didn't she?

But maybe the time was not enough. Maybe it was done, she was done, done living, done caring.

Done being ashamed.

Her grip on life grew lax, because she knew it wasn't what she needed anymore. Perhaps death was yet the next pathway to an adventure.

***

She didn't remember dying. She remembered clinging on to bare hope and realizing it was fragile. But she woke in a lush green forest and almost sighed in relief. She had made it to StarClan after all. Maybe she'd done enough good in the end, enough good for redemption.

A cat approached her, purple eyes filled with love, and Frostwind recognized her mother immediately. Hopeheart looked ageless, her fur sleek and shiny. She was different from the Hopeheart she remembered, because though her name was Hopeheart, Hopeheart had been one without hope, one clinging on to Shadowflight for life at all.

And he was there too. Shadowflight, walking with tails entwined with Hopeheart, and Frostwind's heart beat fast with warmth and longing, seeing her parents in their state of happiness, and herself, weak but determined.

"You are ready to leave everything behind to join the ranks of StarClan?" Hopeheart asked, her voice mild but cold and firm. "You leave behind Skyfeather, Hickorysnarl, Windecho - I know you love him a little - Cloudbeam, and your kits. You could make it, Frostwind."

"But it's your choice," Shadowflight meowed.

"Your choice," Hopeheart echoed.

"But what if there's no point! What if you've tried and tried again and life is done with you and you don't care anymore!" Frostwind cried, furious tears leaking it from her eyes and she was enraged. "StarClan expects so much of me, it wants me to save my Clan and what? Who relies on a murderer, Hopeheart, who?"

"I would," Hopeheart meowed softly. "I put my faith in you, Frostwind, my hope, and I hope I'm not hoping in vain. You have a future, darling, a future one to behold, but you can't throw it away now."

"A future to behold. This is nonsense. Where is StarClan so I can die!" Frostwind shouted.

"You have a destiny, Frostwind, my daughter, and it has not yet been fulfilled. Go forth and fulfil your destiny," Hopeheart whispered, her voice carrying with the wind. "You only have one chance."

"What if I don't want that chance?" Frostwind asked miserably.

"Would you forfeit the chance to know your daughter? She is already the only one of her litter," Hopeheart pressed.

"She's been born?" Frostwind asked, surprised.

Hopeheart laughed. "You think you've been in pain and pushing all this time and nothing happened?"