Froststar's Destiny

Chapter Twenty-three

Lightningstrike gave her a swift nod. "Well, until we meet again," he said, his eyes twinkling as he withdrew.

***

The next two moons passed uneventfully until today. Frostwind was moving into the nursery, her morning sickness having finally caught up to her, and Hickorypaw and her siblings were becoming warriors, which had, along with Skyfeather's urging, been the real reason why Frostwind had decided to move to the nursery. The kits were due in roughly a moon, so she would still patrol a little.

"So. Right. Hickory and Hairy and Small," Stonestar said thoughtfully. Everyone gawked at him. Flamepaw, who was the leader's apprentice after much arguing, watched on, while his brother and sister grinned. They looked forward to their ceremonies too, although those would be a little later.

"Um. Flamepaw, give me a name," Stonestar meowed.

The entire Clan was still gawping rudely at him.

"Hairypelt?" Flamepaw suggested. "Ah, yes, Hairypelt!" Stonestar announced delightedly. "Your new name," he added to the panic-stricken Hairypaw, who suddenly became Hairypelt.

"It's so unoriginal," the hairy tom said, disgusted.

Stonestar ignored him. "Another name for Smallpaw, if you would please, Flamepaw."

Flamepaw looked to his parents and, strangely, to Frostwind. Frostwind knew that Stonestar would come up with a horrible name otherwise and meowed, "Perhaps Smallsky for Smallpaw, and Hickoryfeather for Hickorypaw."

"Smallsky," Stonestar mused, nodding. "But Hickoryfeather won't do, no, it won't do. Smallsky! That's your name."

"But the ceremony!" Smallsky gawked.

"And... Hickorysnarl," Stonestar said delightedly. The newly named Hickorysnarl stared dumbfounded at Stonestar, who'd given her the most awful name ever!

Frostwind stared dumbfounded but couldn't find anything appropriate to say. She'd stopped challenging Stonestar all the time when she had started visibly expecting kits, because she knew that she was no danger to him anymore and he knew it. But seeing Hickorysnarl so downcast...

"Maybe you shouldn't make that her name." Surprisingly, it was timid Smallsky who spoke up. Hairypelt also stepped forward. "My name isn't that good," Hairypelt meowed defiantly, "but it isn't as bad as Hickorysnarl."

Frostwind shuddered, spiking pain in her belly. She wondered if the kits where actually more pain than they were worth. But the pain came, again and again, and she realized it was no cramp this time. But... They weren't due for a moon! Her sight became spotted and she could barely make out Skyfeather and Hickorysnarl kneeling over her. 

She cleared her mind. Pain she could deal with. Pain was no stranger. 

She could vaguely make out Skyfeather calling for Hawkfeather, and then she was in the nursery, and her vision was spotted again, and she was filled with excruciating pain-

The world was ending. Her life was ending. And then in the fog, someone kept whispering push, push, push what, she wondered, why push? She could see yellow, the stars were calling for her, perhaps it was finally time for the tragedy called life to end.

But... Did she want to go? One of those voices, its speaker hidden by the fog, was Skyfeather, and he was calling her name. He wanted her, but nobody had ever wanted her her whole life. For the first time, she pictured Skyfeather being a fraud, deserting her the moment life gave her troubles.

If she couldn't trust him, she couldn't trust anyone. And somehow, in the moment when their love should have been deepest, she felt she was sliding away from him. Her love, deep as it was, was turning dark and bitter, and she wasn't sure she wanted the kits anymore, wasn't sure if she wanted to bear them for a fraud.