The Things I Hate About You

P R O L O G U E

Prologue

I've always been this little kid who would giggle and kick her feet to any romcoms movies and novels. As long as it's romance, I'm willing to spend my entire day watching or reading it. Pero dahil bata pa naman ako, hindi ko muna siniseryoso ang love. Hanggang crush lang muna ako. When I was in my grade one, I already had a crush. He was cool. I think I had different crushes every grade level. Hindi naman ako ganun kaseryoso, ginagawa ko lang silang inspirasyon para pumasok.

If I was a secret romantic girl on my primary, I was also a naughty girl. I had my childhood on my hands. I want to make my childhood memorable. So I tried cutting classes. Sa likod ng school umaakyat at tumatalon ang mga tumatakas ng klase kagaya ko kahit pa mataas ang bakod. Muntik pa nga akong mahulog nang sumabit ang palda ko sa bakal. Kaya ang ending, pinagalitan kami ng teacher namin. Pasalamat na lang ako at hindi umabot sa parents ko ang kagaguhang ginawa. It was fun though. I don't regret it. I also tried cheating when I was in my grade 4. The fun thing is, I didn't get caught. I think I was lucky. Nasa grade 4 ang halos masasayang alaala ko. Hindi dahil naging mabuti akong studyante, kung hindi iyon iyong era ng pagiging pasaway at bad student ko. I was in the last section, kaya lahat ng classmates ko pasaway din. Lagi kaming napapagalitan ng ibang teacher. They said we were the worst section ever. But for me, our section was the best. Kahit pa madalas kaming tapunan ng adviser namin ng mono block chair at halos sa akin na iyon tumama, hindi ko pa rin ipagpapalit ang section namin. When I was in grade 4, I'm a good liar. Lagi akong nagdadahilan na may sakit para hindi lang makapasok sa ibang subject. Willing akong magbantay ng anak ng adviser namin para hindi lang makapasok sa subject ko sa math. I've always hated the math subject. I'm terrible at it.

But every fun has always its ending. When I turned grade 5, I don't know what happened but everything has changed. I got bullied. I don't seem to have friends. Why I got bullied? I'm a fool if I will let myself believe it happened for no reason. Na-bully ako dahil sa itsura ko. Kapag tinitingnan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin lalo lang akong naniniwala na ayaw nila sa akin. Iyong mga kaklase ko, ayaw sa akin kasi pangit ako.

Short hair. Thick eyeglasses. Bangs. Pimples. Crooked teeth. Brown complexion. I felt like a crap. I feel like the ugliest person on earth. When I walked down to our class room, my classmates eyes shoot daggers on me. May mga pumapatid sa akin. Tawanan. Unlike my previous years, wala na akong confidence ngayon. Kinakabahan ako lagi kapag pumapasok sa paaralan lalo na sa mismong silid ko. Halos lahat ng mga kaklase ko binu-bully ako. I wanted to fight back, but I can't. I'm afraid.

One of my friends before don't even like me now. And when I heard her talked to her cousin, both our classmates, I began fidgeting. Nanginginig ang tuhod ko at pinipigilan ko ang mga daliri kong huminto sa paggalaw.

Alam ko na ang susunod na mangyayari. Kaya nung maglakad papalapit sa akin si Rolly, ang kaklase ko at pinsan ng dati kong kaibigan ay napapikit na ako. A forced bang from my head almost made me cry. Narinig ko ang pagtawa ni Janice, ang dati kong kaibigan.

"Sa susunod huwag mong tignan ng masama ang pinsan ko kung ayaw mong mapalo ulit." Nginisian niya ako bago bumalik sa pinsan niya.

Janice was grinning. I hate them both. I know some of our classmates saw what happened and I'm so embarrassed to know who were they. Small laughs get in my ears. I blinked and blinked just to forced myself from not crying. Masyado na 'kong kawawa, kapag iiyak pa ako mas magiging kawawa ako. Ayoko nun.

A familiar pair of eyes met mine when I tried to lift my head. I've started to hate that brown eyes of his. He was smirking. I think he's enjoying that I got whacked. Umiwas ako ng tingin at kinakagat ang labi. Everyone is so mean. I hate them all. I hate bullies.

The one thing I learned in my primary grade is nobody would like you if you're ugly. You need to be pretty and to fit in their social standards to be respected. Fuck that.

So I'm learning how to take care of my skin. My face. Kahit paunti-unti, sinusubukan kong maging maganda nang sa ganun ay hindi na muli akong ma-bully. Nang mag grade six ako, I tried using some types of skin care. Luckily, my pimples are slowly fading. But I still have my thick eyeglasses on. Which is I hated most because I have a bad eyesight. Hindi pa rin pantay ang ngipin ko dahil hindi pa afford ng parents ko ang braces. So I needed to deal with it somehow. If I can't be totally pretty, then I needed to be smart.

I realized that if there's a pretty privilege thing, there's also 'smart privilege'. Kaya para makuha ang respeto nila kinailangan kong maging matalino. In that way, maybe they won't bully me again. And I really study hard in grade six. Grateful, I slowly get my classmates respect.

I gained more friends. Halos friends ko ang lahat ng classmates ko. They were suddenly nice to me. Kasama na roon si Rolly. What a funny twist that he's been one of the kindest to me. Janice was no longer my classmate so I can finally breath in peace. Hindi ko alam kung paano kaming umabot ni Janice sa pagiging magkaaway lalo pa na sobrang close namin noong grade 3. But I think people really change.

"Elena Marie. Pangit."

Everyone's nice to me except that one person who seemed to hold a grudge against me. Kinaiinisan ko talaga ang kulay kape niyang mga mata simula pa last year. Hindi ko maintindihan pero kasiyahan niya ata ang bully-hin ako. He's mean. Really really mean.

"Anong kailangan mo?" Pinipigilan ko ang inis ko sa kaniya.

He was kicking my chair. Nang tignan ko siya ay ngumisi lang siya sa akin. I've always known him. He's Kendrick Riva. Mas kilala bilang KD. Naging classmate ko siya noong kinder pa lang kami. Our mothers have known each other. Naalala ko pa nung mga panahong may activity kami nung kinder, we were casual with each other. Our mothers occasionally talked. And we're seatmates. We conversed often. But I don't know what happened to him why he became such an a**hole.

We lived in the same baranggay. But he resides in a different compound. Magkapitbahay kami ng lugar pero hindi ng bahay. Hindi kami masyadong nagkikita maliban sa School. Unless I visit their compound then maybe we would see each other. But I won't do that of course. Bukod sa walang rason para gumala sa lugar nila, ayaw na ayaw ko rin makita ang pagmumukha niya. I hate him.

"Elena Marie. Pssst. Pangit. Hindi ka ba nakakakita kapag wala kang salamin?"

Sinipa niya ulit ang upuan ko nang hindi ko siya sinagot. Sa sobrang inis ko ay lumipat ako ng ibang upuan. Ayaw kong makipag-away sa kaniya dahil ayoko ng gulo. At ayaw ko rin magsayang ng oras para sa walang kwentang tao na kagaya niya. Hindi na ako nag-abalang lingunin pa siya o bigyan ng pansin at umupo ako sa unahan. Naging mabait na lahat sa akin, maliban sa kanya. I thought if I'd be smart enough, I won't get bullied again. But KD has his own agenda. He loves torturing me.