Deliverance | Draco Malfoy

Thirty-One

I'm not leaving you, Nott. Even if you will never admit to having anyone you care about.

"Fuck me." Blaise threw his cards down flat on the table and sucked in a breath through his nose.

"No thanks." Theo scrunched his nose and leaned over to see Blaise's cards, wondering if he had won the round.

"No, you moron-"

"Shit." Theo hissed, flaring his nostrils and rubbing the heel of his hand over his forearm.

"What?" I gasped, looking between the two.

"We gotta go." Blaise looked uneasy as he stood from his seat and looked down at me.

"What?" I repeated.

"You know 'what', Princess." His eyes showed me pity as he pecked a kiss on my forehead and rubbed my hair. "Be good. I'm sure one of us will be back soon." He sighed, pinching my cheek playfully and heading for the door.

"Goodbye kiss, doll face?" Theo mocked. He puckered up and leaned towards me, making me roll my eyes.

"Ever going to stop trying, Nott?" I grabbed his chin in my palm to stop him, just barely as his nose was a centimeter from mine and his smirk grew wider.

"Only when I'm dead." His eyes sparkled and he snickered to himself as he straightened and left.

Quiet. And alone.

It's all my life ever comes to in its natural cycle. So quiet in the Manor now that my ears were ringing to fill the void and my chest ached with unease that I had gotten so used to that it didn't hurt anymore. I welcomed it like I welcomed every other pain.

Pain that shouldn't feel good, but it's not foreign so my body longs for it like a normal person buzzes for dopamine.

Narcissa isn't around like I thought she would be. It's like she sleeps into the walls and becomes one with the house during the day, just making her appearances when I'd least expect it. The house is too large to stay on top of her whereabouts.

Even when there are a few of us here, it's hard to track any of us. So easy to miss paths, so easy to cross the wrong ones, and so easy to be alone in a house that has other entities in it.

My shoes brushed the rug that ran through the hall of family portraits. A hall that could lead me to any direction of the house based on my next decision.

Left to the ballroom.

Right towards the kitchens.

Up the stairs where I'd have to play the same guessing game to reach another destination.

Down...

Down the stairs to a spot I didn't ever care to explore.

Down to a place that I knew would be similar to one we had in my own home. A place where my father and I spent too much time together and he was the only one that left with a triumphant smile on his face. A place where I hardly had the strength to leave when I did— and when I did, I was so broken I could hardly make it to a new room in the house.

A chill shocked my spine and I shook away the thoughts before I succumbed and sank into the darkness too deeply. I could feel the clench of my fists. The way my breathing had changed. My body's response to the edge creeping through me, preparing for doom and agony.

When will the feelings ever stop?

The floor creaked and the guard surrounding my consciousness only grew stronger. I can never tell if I have a good intuition or if my body and brain are just so damaged that I'm just a bundle of fear and worry.