Escape from the cruel father

How can i change my fate?

I've been thinking of how i can change my fate because i don't want to live miserably like my mother,besides that i don't have much time until i become an adult,I'm 16 years old,at 18 my father will throw me to any noble he found,even if it's a lot older than me.

So finally i find the way to survive,i need to become a royal knight,because the kings give them his protection and his power,but for that i need to join the nobles academy and the most important thing i need to learn magic.but in my case i don't have any clue how to learn it,but I'm sure it's going to be hard.since i don't have memories or informations about it.

"Here is your lunch"the servant said without any respect in her tone.

This rude servant is the only person i have contact with,so i decided to ask her about books and a teacher.

"Why they didn't bring for me a teacher?,i need to learn some kind of stuff to socialize in the noble community,like art,music,behavior,dance,magic maybe?"

She took a few minutes looking at me,from up to down like she was mocking me,then she finally answered.

"You don't need to be educated in any sort of sciences or arts,because you only need to be a good doll for your future husband,they don't even calls you by your name,they haven't seen you for years,and you want them to bring you a teacher,silly you,and for the magic thing,it's something that symbolizes your family but not you,it will be a shame to make you use it or learn it."

When i heard her answer,i felt like there is  something harsh and heavy on the top of my heart,it made me fell sad and disappointed,but i forced a fake smile to her.

I asked her again,"i get it,but i do want to read some books,where can i find them?"

She responded,"you're stubborn,you need to ask your father,about a permission to visite  to library"

Is this how it's gonna ends,'ask my father ' it's like going to a lion's den,but I'm not gonna give up,i need to be brave and fearless.

[After a week]

This is the day that I'm going to ask him,i told the servant to tell me when it's gonna be the right time to meet him,she helped me which was unbelievable,and now i'm standing right infront of his office,i can't deny the fact that i'm sweating a lot,but i have the Braveheart that i need to meet him.

(Knock,knock)
"Go inside!"he yells,his voice is deep and scary.
I collect all my courage to open the door,he is sitting on his chair,reading his journal with a poker face,the room is so clean and the coffee smells make it so aesthetic.

"All my courage and my honest respect to the great duke,i came here to salute you"i tell him with a weak voice.

He looked at me with a disgusted face, i can see the rage in his blue eyes.

"What are she doing here?!!!"he speaks to the servant.

I interrupt,"i'm sorry i know I'm not suppose ro be here,but i swear the only reason which i'm here,is that i want a permission to visite the library".

He yells louder than the last time,"if you know you're not suppose to be here,why did you came,i was clear with you the last time,stay at your room and wait for your marriage,you don't going to visite anywhere,I hate your face!! go right know to your room and i want you to be invisible,library what a joke!"

I came back to my room,i haven't feel this grief and this anger ever,this whole idea was a mistake a big one,how i expected him to be nice or even to feel a little bit sorry for me?i'am so naive,i need to find another idea because i'm not gonna let him put me down.