𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬: 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩

- Review For The Book: Beauty And The Beast -

Beauty and the Beast (One Piece) by JJKAnime1235
Whole Package Deal

To start, I find the cover eye catching however, I would wish the title would be clearer and easier to read. Otherwise, no complaints!

But the title, Beauty and the Beast greatly fits the blurb. Even though it isn't original or unique, I would still keep it because it truly is well thought out and corresponds to what the story will revolve around. Good job with that. But, I do think that "One Piece" you added should be put into the blurb. It reduces the impact of the title and that first impression of the reader.

However, the blurb, itself, is extremely unique and it engages readers to keep reading. You did an amazing job describing the "Beauty" and the conflicts she is going to face. You have an insight of the backstory and what happened in the past that will drive the plot forward. The only thing that bothered me was that after the sentence "For The Beauty knew that love was a fleeting affection" you continued to write T as the capitalized word. It's such a small thing but it can turn off a reader a little bit. So just change "The" into "the" to make it look visually appealing for all the sentences.

The opening sentence "The skies split themselves from the thunderous lights across the horizon" was a beautiful way to start. It created an image for the readers that definitely engages them forward. However, the next sentence seemed rather bland and mellow. Instead I would start the opening like this:

The skies split themselves from the thunderous lights across the horizon. The boat heaved up and down and the young woman's stomach lurched each time it created a wave. She tightened her grip on the sails to steady herself against the unrelenting motion of the sea.
Hard rain poured and clung to the young girl's robe and the small child tightly wrapped around, covered in a blanket.

This is more coherent and understandable. The reason why is because the intense part with the "thundering sky" is a beautiful way to introduce the setting of the boat. Later, when the child is introduced you can continue with your sentence, "The baby's wails echoed.." It just fits better with the overall mood.

Moreover, what I noticed throughout the chapters was your beautiful descriptive writing. I found every paragraph to be important, described to the full extent, painting a clear picture to the readers.

For example, "Their tongue sticking out from the sun's heat, sweat dripping from the their brow."

This is just one of the many sentences that described so many details which made us, readers think we are right there in the story. The spelling, and grammar made the plot better. We get introduced to characters such as Johnny, Yosaku and the woman and you do an amazing way of writing each one. You're reveling just enough information about them without giving too much too soon. The dialogue between them is always refreshing and gives a value to the story. We get introduced to the conflict, which I can already tell is going to create the great driven plot.

Your way of writing is amazing and easy to follow. The only thing I would pay close attention to are the endings. You already have a knack for transitions and each time the beginning of the chapters are amazingly done. However, the endings seemed rather rushed. For example, in the second chapter, "He sighed, one problem down another added to the list. Now, he could use some alcohol."

The plot, itself is tense and engaging. You have to keep it that way especially at the end of the chapters to keep the readers. This ending reduced all the suspense and seemed rather rushed. I realized it happened in other chapters as well. To add the suspense you could mention how he was feeling, what he thought, etc... it would add a good and deserved ending. However, I'm being extremely picky here because I can see you are a great writer and I'm only finding these really small things that could be improved because overall it's amazing and there is barely any mistakes.

The writing style and the descriptions will lead you far. Even though I never read One Piece, I found this fanfiction so interesting. Amazing job, excited to see where your book goes!