Invisible String

the string is brave

when we first met. 
You kept me from falling,
picked me up when I did.

I knew it will be worth it. 

Soon, we were holding,
holding our hands tight. 
Together standing,
under the skies so bright. 

I tried to cut you off, 
guards up trying not to get caught.
Oh, but you gave me stars,
unaware, that you healed my scars.
Laughed at my jokes,
like a little kid watching his favorite show. 
Oh, it was hard to keep,
you away from me.

The skies above me,

were a shade of black jet. 

As black as the shirt I wore,

when we first met. 
You kept me from falling,
picked me up when I did. 
I knew it will be worth it. 

Soon, we were holding,
holding our hands tight.
Together standing,
under the skies so bright.

I knew it will be worth it,
oh, I fell for you again.  

Chapter 16

(Aabha) 

2 weeks ago...

4th May 2023

I just want to go home. I just want to go home.
My heavy footsteps, deep breathes and salt streams running through my eyes were obvious to the strangers walking past me. They all looked at me. Looked at me as I walked briskly to my home.
I thought it was over. That I left it all at college and school where I was bullied for my colour. I did not ever fathom that this would come all the way here, in my class too.
Fucking Racism.
The moment Aniruddh racialized me in front of half the class, mid-lecture, I didn't react. It took me a couple of seconds to process what had just happened. Because I never expected anyone to do that here.
The moment the lecture ended I got my bag and left off with Naina. I couldn't take people's stares.
And most of all, Aniruddh's fake sympathy and apology. The only reason he apologized was because he was scared, I'd send a complaint against him in the office.
I was already traumatised due to my grandmother's death. And now, I was going to have to deal with healing a wound I thought would never open again.
It was hard. The flashbacks hit all at once. That bus rushing towards me as I was standing in the middle of the road. Wanting to be hit. Wanting it all to be over. And the next second, an old lady pulling me on the side of road and scolding me.
Those children excluding me because they were uncomfortable with MY body.
Fucking Racists.
The first thing Aniruddh told me after he saw the immediate tears in my eyes was, "I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd be so offended."
What the fuck does offense have to do with this? You are a racist. A goddamn racist. It doesn't matter if the racialized was offended or not. YOU have the cheap mind here. You have to fix it, boy.
I unlocked the door, ran straight to my room and collapsed on the bed.
I was so glad no one was home to see me like that.
People tag women who defend themselves, speak up for themselves as 'crazy bitches' forgetting the fact that they forced us to become those damn bitches.
I had no idea why I didn't speak up or say anything to him.
I was so scared and overwhelmed by panic and emotion.
I was not gonna let this shit slide the next time. Never again.

Present time...

"Oh my god no! English is thumbs down and Hindi is thumbs up. This is the fourth time I'm repeating!" I laughed as I enacted the movie name 'Dear Zindagi'.
Since the batch shuffled, the new classmates became friends instantly. We'd spend time laughing and joking all day. Keshav and I surprisingly got the same batch. During breaks, we girls would play charades. At times, even the boys would join us, that is, if they got some free time off their cricket off course. Using a sturdy book as a bat and a rolling a random cloth into a ball was their way of having fun. So be it.
"DEAR ZINDAGI?!" Riya shouted and I jumped up with my fist punching into the air.
"Score!" I exclaimed.
"Ouch! This is the fifth time! Please stop it!" Sakshi stood up yelled at the boys.
"Keshav, please. We're trying to play here too. Peacefully." I told him.
He nodded his head.
"Give back the ball." Aniruddh whined at Sakshi.
"No, I'm not giving it back." She sat down.
"Ugh, so dramatic. I mean, look at the ball's size...look at yours!" And he laughed looking at the class and expecting everyone else to do the same. Though some boys sniggered, the rest of the class remained silent.
Sakshi silently gave him the ball and sat down on her place with a neutral expression. The class went back to normal.
It's eating her from the inside. Just like it ate me. I have to do something. Say something.
I didn't know what to do. Things like these happened so fast.
Before I could say anything, the teacher entered the class.
I have to do something. I can't protect someone's fragile masculinity again.
"Be brave when you're afraid, little girl." I remembered my grandmother's words.
I quickly tore a piece of paper and began writing on it: