Arrivederci || Dan Heng [✓ ]

⋆ ✦ ˚｡ Part twenty-five˚｡⋆

"Mashed potatoes! My favorite!"

"So, what's been on your mind lately?" My mother asked, sitting down with her own plate. "I know when my daughter has something bugging her."

This question made me freeze in place. Normally I'd answer her right away, but the weight of what I wanted to say made my words catch in my throat. I glanced down at my plate, suddenly finding my food fascinating.

"Well," I began, my voice tentative, "it's just that...I've been thinking a lot about the past lately." She raised an eyebrow, her interest piqued.

"The past? What brought that on?"

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of my desires pressing down on me. "I've been looking at old pictures, listening to old music, and just imagining what it was like before everything changed. The world was so different back then."

A knowing smile tugged at the corners of my mother's lips.

"You're not alone in feeling that way. A lot of people wish they could experience a time when things were simpler."

I looked up at her, my eyes earnest. "But it's more than that, Mom. I don't just want to experience it through pictures and stories. I want to...actually go there, even if it's just for a little while. And you know that Svarog has been working on that time travel anomaly—it's not as dangerous as it was years ago! So many people have already gone back to the past!"

There was a brief silence, the tension in the air palpable. My mother's gaze was steady, her expression now very serious. I couldn't read her thoughts, but I knew she wouldn't be supportive of my desires.

"Sweetheart," she finally said, her voice gentle, "I understand the appeal of the past. But remember, you have responsibilities here in the present, your studies and your little sister."

"I know," I replied, my tone tinged with frustration. "I know I have work and Clara to take care of, and I wouldn't leave her alone. But just...one trip, Mom. One chance to experience something different—it won't be for long! Just so I can see the ocean!"

"But honey, we live next to the ocean—"

"That's just it! You can't call that—that pool of sewage the ocean anymore!" I interjected, the frustration in my words spilling out, "It's barely even blue, when you look outside all you can see is gray murky water—and heaps of trash piled on the sand. You cant even walk across it because of the health hazards!"

My mother's gaze softened, and she reached across the table to place a hand over mine. "I get it. I understand your longing for something more. But you have to consider the consequences. Once you open that door to the past, it's not something you can easily close."

I gritted my teeth, eyes glossing over at the weight of her words. Time travel wasn't a casual decision—I knew that. But even so, my heart was completely set on it. I needed to do this, otherwise I wouldn't be able to find solace.

"You're right," I conceded, my shoulders slumping slightly. "I just...I feel like I'm suffocating here, Mom. I want to experience life before it became like this."

My mother's grip on my hand tightened, her eyes filled with a mixture of empathy and concern.

"I know you're struggling, and I wish I could take that burden from you. But, you're doing well with your studies, and you have a bright career ahead of you."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, the weight of my desires clashing with the reality she presented. "I know," I whispered, my voice wavering. "I just...I need to do this. I can't explain why, but I have to."

Her gaze softened further, her expression sadness and understanding.

"Honey, I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue your dreams. But you need to find a balance between holding on to the past and living in the present. Clara looks up to you, and needs you here—we both do."

I bit my lip, torn between the yearning for something more and the responsibilities that anchored me in the present. I knew that she was right, my choices had an impact far beyond just myself.

"Okay," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "But please...just let me go, I won't stay long. I've been reading about where I want to go back to; what they did, how the school worked, the currency—even what they ate! And when I come back I'll do every chore than you need!"

"I know this means a lot to you. And while I still worry, I can see how much you've thought this through. Just promise me you'll be careful, and that you will come back."

A sudden bought of joy washed over me, not expecting her to actually agree to it.

"I promise, Mom. I won't take any unnecessary risks!! and I'll make sure to come back safe and sound!!" My voice was exploding with excitement as I spoke.

Clara tugged on my sleeve, looking up at me with big innocent eyes that held so much love and trust.

"Big sister I'm so happy for you! But...promise me you'll come back soon, okay?"

My heart ached at the sight of her, my little sister who had always been my anchor. Although we weren't related by blood, our connection still ran very deep.

I crouched down to her level, cupping her face in my hands.

"I promise, Clara. I'll return soon, and I'll have stories and memories for both of us—and when I come back, we'll paint the ocean again." Her smile brightened, and she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug.

"I'm going to ask Mr. Svarog how you're doing everyday!"

With one last glance at my mother, I stood up, squaring my shoulders.

"Thank you, Mom." She put her hands reassuringly on me, lips turnings upwards.

"Just remember, no matter where or when you go, you'll always have a home here."

But even though my Mother says that, why is it that this 'home' happens to be where I feel the loneliest.

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╰┈➤ EDITED ✦

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A message

Svarog, sorry to bother you with your busy schedule and all.
But it seems like one of my rascal kids has taken an interest in time travel... Let me know when you can get back to me.

p.s. hi mr. svarog it's Clara!! I miss you!! Come visit us soon!!!!!

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