Lost Between Worlds

Sixteen

She sat in her shower, the water raining down on her as she hugged her knees, crying. Today would've been her daughter Evies birthday. Sure, time was different here, lagging about five years, but in her world her daughter would be eight now. She had missed another birthday. Every time, it gets harder and harder to come to terms with what she did, letting go of his hand, but she had to, she had to save them both.

She closed her eyes, willfully trying to pull on her memories of Evie, of the both of them, but her mind was fogged with exhaustion, and she cried harder. She didn't want to forget them, didn't want her memories to fade, but it was as though they were leaving her, becoming nothing more than echos.

She stayed where she was, until Friday notified her she had ten minutes until training. Pulling herself to stand she turned the water off and got out, wrapping herself in a towel. Wiping the steam off the mirror, her gaze instantly went to the chain around her neck. To the heart pendant, that held a small cutting of her daughters hair, preserved in a diamond, and to her rings. Her engagement and wedding ring.

She brought her hand up, touching them... 'I miss you both, so damn much. I don't know if I can keep doing this without you..'.. She felt fresh tears prickle in her eyes, as she touched her wedding ring, the inscription inside, was one she loved.

'Loving you for eternity, is a journey I wish to take..'

She smiled, remembering the first time he ever said that to her. It had been when she took him to her fathers grave, on what would've been his birthday. They had sat there, talking to her fathers headstone, telling him everything. Right down to how she had been saved, and by the man who held her heart.

He had promised her father then and there, that he would always love her, and he would never forsake or leave her, he couldn't. She had his heart and he couldn't bear to be without her.

Fighting back her tears, she knew she was losing that battle... 'Friday, cancel training. I can't..'.. She dropped to the floor, clutching the towel and her necklace... 'I can't, I can't breathe..'... She was overwhelmed, and she broke down. She needed them, she needed to hold her daughter, needed to know that she was safe, that they both were, all of them. She needed to know, that her sacrifice wasn't in vain.

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Steve and Bucky had just gotten changed when Friday announced training was cancelled. Both met out in the hall, frowning in confusion. BB would never cancel, they both knew that, but the blood chilling screams that came from her room, made their own blood turn cold.

Bucky rushed to her door, finding it locked... 'Friday, unlock her door, now..'

'I'm sorry sergeant Barnes, I can't. BB has a protocol in place. No one is allowed in her room when she requests it..'

'Open the fucking door..'.. Bucky shouted at the ceiling, still hearing the screams.

'Buck..'.. Steve pulled him back... 'Both of us, together..'.. He nodded and Bucky caught on. The two back right up, and then ran at her door, taking it down and crashing to the floor. Bucky stumbled to his feet, and followed her screams, finding her in the bathroom, distraught. He didn't care that she was in a towel, but dropped to his knees in front of her.

'BB, look at me, focus on me ok..'.. He slowly reached out, to hold her shoulders, but she shuffled quickly, and wrapped an arm around his neck.

'I can't do this any more..'.. She sniffled, and he carefully moved to sit better, and wrapped his arms around her.... 'Its her birthday. Three birthdays, without her, I can't go through it again..'